I was sitting at a restaurant in the mall waiting for my friend to join me. I was so relieved to be sitting down because my feet were hurting from hours of walking around in the stores searching for the perfect wedding gift for my cousin Maria.
My friend had not arrived yet, so I ordered a cup of coffee and checked my voicemail messages. While I was checking my messages, two men came in and sat down at the table next to me. They were handsome-looking executive types, dressed to the nines, sporting very expensive watches. They looked so good that I wondered if I could network my way into their acquaintance. I did the mandatory check for wedding rings that we single women always do and verified that one of them was definitely married.
They looked through the menu quickly and hurriedly called the hostess to take their order. When she was gone they started to chat. The married man said that he had a problem that he needed to discuss with his friend.
The conversation went like this:
Married man: Bob, I have a problem.
Bob: Yeah? What kind of problem ?
Married Man: I’ve fallen in love with the woman of my dreams. She is a pure woman who doesn’t sleep around and she is really intelligent and beautiful. I don’t want her for a mistress. I’ve had plenty of those and I know this woman won’t be a mistress to any man. She is the marrying kind.
Bob: Wait a minute. You can’t be serious. How could you be in love with the woman of your dreams when you are already married? Don’t you love the wife you already have?
Married Man: Well I do love my wife but she isn’t my real wife.
[The lunches arrive.]
Bob: Woah…back up, buddy. What do you mean she isn’t your real wife? I was at the wedding. You married her officially.
Married Man: Yeah, I married her officially, but I don’t think of her as my real wife.
Bob: Why wouldn’t you think of her as a real wife?
Married Man: Well, to be perfectly honest, I slept with her while she was married to her previous husband in their own bed. She is a slut and the sex is out of this world with her. In my mind she is a prostitute that I reserved for myself to please me in bed. Now she tells me she wants to have a baby and I am not for babies with her. My real wife can only be a pure woman to be the mother of my babies.
Bob: Well, I guess you do have a problem, buddy. Are you looking to leave your wife to marry this pure woman?
Married Man: That’s just it, Bob. I am so hooked on the sex with the whore I have at home that I don’t know if I can give it up.
Bob: You have a point. Pure women don’t have sex like that, but they make good wives and mothers. You have to make a choice.
Married Man: It is difficult. I want to have a virginal wife to have the baby with, but I crave the slut.
Bob: If you divorced, are you reasonably certain that the other woman would even date you?
Married Man: I don’t have a guarantee on that, but I would give it my best effort. What do you think I should do?
Bob: I don’t have a solution for you. You are messed up. My cell is ringing. Hold on a minute.
[Two minutes later]
Bob: That was my secretary. I’m due for a meeting with the executive committee. I have to go, but maybe you should take a vacation…or see a psychiatrist before you jump off the cliff, buddy.
And with those words, Bob left, and the married man finished his lunch and paid the check.
My friend arrived just as he left. She said she was sorry to make me wait because her sitter was late and then she looked at me in wonder and asked if I was okay, because I looked kind of pale. The hostess arrived and we ordered lunch.
I told my friend to get ready because what she was about to hear was ugly. I told her that I had just learned something about men. I related the entire story and added that I felt sorry for his wife because she is under the delusion that she has a real husband to have a baby with. My friend felt disgusted and I thanked GOD that I wasn’t in the fake wife’s place. Right then, I realized that women now have another thing to worry about with men (as if we don’t have enough to worry about already).
Married women now need to wonder if they are the real wife, and single women have to figure out if their prospective husbands see them as the real wife. Why is life so difficult!? – Evette Delgrado
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