Dear Dr. Norquist:
My life is in a rut and I’m not sure what to do to change it. I’m bored with my life. I’m stuck at a job that pays my bills, but provides little satisfaction. My friendships are shallow – mostly friendships that revolve around going drinking on the weekends. I have my comfortable apartment, my favorite TV shows, my favorite bars and take out places, my cat (who keeps me good company), shopping on the internet, and phone calls to family and friends back in Pennsylvania. That is my life. It’s boring to me and I’m not sure what to do to change it.
Dr. Norquist responds:
You’d like to breathe some vitality into your life. To do that you need to enliven yourself! I’d like to invite you to take some time to scan your life from childhood until now; taking special note of the times you felt inspired, creative, or satisfied. This includes times when you felt a sense of purpose, moments when you were full of eagerness and curiosity, enjoyment and desire. What are the common elements in these past experiences? Were you engaged in particular activities, in particular environments, or with particular people? This is an important exercise in knowing yourself. Your inner spark is currently dormant. Your quest is to discover it and feed that flame. What gets you excited? What energizes you? What are you almost always willing to put energy into? What have you always wanted to do, to learn, to experience, to see, to create, to share? It’s time to put your will into discovering and doing these things. You live in a part of the world where there are endless possibilities to pursue your interests, once you uncover your passions.
Create an image of how you want your life to be. What steps could you take now to start creating your ideal life? Recalling the inner emotional and kinesthetic memory of excitement, inspiration and satisfaction that accompanies you when you are “on purpose” with your soul’s journey will provide the drive you need to enliven your life. Please write to me again if further questions arise as you embark upon this exciting journey to create your ideal life.
(Dr. Sallie Norquist is a licensed psychologist (NJ #2371) in private practice and is director of Chaitanya Counseling Services, a center for upliftment and enlivenment, in Hoboken.)
Dr. Norquist and the staff of Chaitanya invite you to write them at Chaitanya Counseling Services, 51 Newark St., Suite 202, Hoboken, NJ 07030 or www.chaitanya.com or by e-mail at drnorquist@chaitanya.com, or by fax at (201) 656-4700. Questions can address various topics, including relationships, life’s stresses, difficulties, mysteries and dilemmas, as well as questions related to managing stress or alternative ways of understanding health-related concerns. 2010 Chaitanya Counseling Services