NEW JERSEY — Welcome to the newest recap of the Bravo reality show “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” starring Hoboken residents Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo, and roommate Greg. At least, the Hoboken angle is why we are justified in covering it here at the Hudson Reporter chain of community newspapers in Hoboken. That, and the thousands of web hits it draws from loyal viewers like you.
Now then.
In this week’s episode, the housewives and their families and kids conclude their “business trip” through Napa valley. They pull into a campground that — much to the housewives’ chagrin — has nothing but grass and trees. As opposed to their preferred types of campgrounds — the ones with really tall hotels on them.
The families get down to business. Joe Gorga strips down and brags about the size of his….maleness. He says that “real men” are proud of what they have. Yes, and real men who have something worth being proud of don’t need to talk about it, gorgeous.
The families go surfing and canoeing. Teresa Giudice hurts her toe and Melissa Gorga falls into the water and screams. Bravo must have been disappointed that there wasn’t any real drama in this portion of the program. Even the Brady Bunch got more drama out of their surfing trip.
The guys go to the local store for dinner supplies, and bring back a Wiffle Ball (R) set and a mood ring. But somehow, the group manages to whip up a fancy meal anyway. Geez, it’s just like “Dinner: Impossible” – they pretend it’s a challenge, but really, the chef gets every ingredient he wants.
Albie admits to his family that his girlfriend moved into the Hoboken apartment at 333 River St. that he shares with his bro and his friend. His family is surprised. They also ask if he’s told his sister Lauren, who is a bit sensitive about the brothers leaving her out and ganging up on her all the time. They haven’t told her yet. So they reach Lauren by walkie-talkie, deliver the message quickly, and hang up. What a bunch of meanies. At least her mom didn’t badger her about her weight this time.
Can’t we all get along?
But the big news in this episode is that everyone is getting along. And why not? They’ve realized how much they have in common, particularly one thing: They all care too much about their looks. Melissa notes that when Teresa met her, Teresa told her that her family would not like her fake breasts. Melissa rightly points out that Teresa ended up getting … fake breasts.
Which brings us to Teresa and Jacqueline. They disappear into a trailer to talk. They chat, they cry, they make up. Jacqueline keeps insisting that Teresa is being “fake” because Teresa won’t tell her what’s true and what isn’t true in the tabloid stories about her. Hmmm, when did friendship require responding to scandal sheets? But they miss each other too much to stay apart.
When the girls emerge, Caroline Manzo seems concerned about Jacqueline. She complains that Jacqueline won’t take her advice. Well, Caroline, you can still give it out on the radio.
Next week looks to bring new scandal. Do a little Google search and you’ll see that Joe Giudice gets a call, says it’s about work, steps away from the table, and then appears to say some not-nice things about Teresa. And who’s on the other end of the phone? What we’re reading on the internet doesn’t sound too good.
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