Legend: A famous or important person who is known for doing something extremely well.
That’s how Merriam Webster defines a legend.
In Hudson County sports, a legend is defined very easily in two words.
Vince Ascolese.
To say that Ascolese was a legend in Hudson County sports would frankly be an injustice of the utmost degree. That’s because he wasn’t just a legend. He transcended legendary status. He was larger than life, as a coach, as a father, as a grandfather, as a man.
Ascolese died Wednesday morning, his eight-year battle with cancer finally over. Ascolese faced many foes over his brilliant and storied 50-year coaching career, first at Demarest/Hoboken High School, then later at North Bergen, where he helped to make the Bruins one of the most feared grid programs in New Jersey.
Cancer was the only foe to truly beat him, but it took cancer a long time to finally get him.
“Talk about a fight,” long-time friend, colleague and former student John Barone said. “I think this was his best coaching job. No one else could have handled it the way he did. He’s just a man’s man.”
Ascolese won a total of 369 games during his storied coaching career at Hoboken, where he spent the first 11 years of his career, and later North Bergen, where he remained for the final 39 autumns.
Ascolese also won a total of eight NJSIAA state championships, the first coming at Hoboken in 1966, the latter seven coming at North Bergen (1977, 1978, 1984, 1988, 1990, 1997 and 2011). His team in 1978 was considered the No. 1 team in the entire state. Ascolese’s Bruins also won a total of 14 Hudson County championships.
Ascolese also won his share of awards and accolades during his coaching career. He was inducted into the Hudson County Sports Hall of Fame and the New Jersey Scholastic Coaches Association Hall of Fame. He was named the Toyota Eastern States Coach of the Year in 1977, was honored by the Heisman Trophy organization as a high school coaching legend and was the recipient of the Frank McGuire Foundation award for his contribution to high school sports.
But it was Ascolese’s contributions away from the gridiron that makes him a true legend.
Take for instance the relationship he shared with Barone.
“I was a skinny 14-year-old going to my first day of high school,” said Barone, who became a basketball standout and eventually became the head boys’ basketball coach at North Bergen. “I was told to go to the auditorium to meet my homeroom teacher. Who was it? Vinnie Ascolese. He was my homeroom teacher in 1962. We made friends the first day. He asked me, ‘Are you Italian?’ I knew I had a friend for life.”
There was another coaching legend among Ascolese’s first students at Hoboken.
“It was 1962 and he was a 24-year-old teacher and coach,” said Ed Stinson, who rewrote the football coaching record book at Hoboken High. “He was full of life and enthusiasm. It was so contagious and impressionable that I carried it with me until today.”
Stinson said that Ascolese’s first team at Hoboken posted a less than brilliant 1-7 record.
“But by my junior and senior year, we were almost county champions,” Stinson said. “A year later, in 1966, they won the state championship. Think about it. In that short period of time, he went from 1-7 to state champions. He beat [another Hudson County football coaching legend [Joe] Coviello four straight times. He set the standards that we all hold each other up to.”
Stinson said that Ascolese was a master motivator, using Broadway show tunes as a backdrop.
“He played ‘The Impossible Dream,’ about 1,000 times,” Stinson said.
Imagine, the greatest high school football coach in Hudson County history actually using Broadway show tunes from “Man From La Mancha.” Somewhere, Richard Kiley is smiling.
“He was Hoboken football, he was North Bergen football,” Stinson said. “I knew him for more years than I knew my own parents. In my lifetime, no one was more influential. And it wasn’t just me. There were thousands of other kids over five decades, over what went on in this country, with President Kennedy being shot, with Vietnam. And he continued to develop championship football teams and championship people. I said to him that if I ever had trouble in my life, he would be the first person I would go to. That’s probably the greatest compliment I could give him.”
Stinson and Ascolese went head-to-head on several occasions, the most notable instance being the 1990 North Jersey Section 1, Group IV final, won in overtime by North Bergen, 3-0. It was one of the greatest games in Hudson County history.
No one locked horns in Hudson County football more than Ascolese and St. Peter’s Prep head coach Rich Hansen. The two met 24 times head-to-head over the years with some classic battles along the way as the two premier Hudson County grid powers.
The relationship between Ascolese and Hansen was one of the most unique in Hudson County sports.
“I would have to say we were adversarial at one point,” said Hansen. “He was the guy that I watched as a kid growing up in Hoboken. Eventually, he was the guy who I wanted to beat. I was the brash kid trying to take his kingdom.”
At one point, Ascolese gave the young coach a piece of advice.
“Just get better,” Hansen said that Ascolese said. “I remembered that.”
The Marauders did get better, winning every single matchup after 1997.
“After a while, it became more of a mutual respect thing,” Hansen said. “He’s the one I would call if I needed any advice.”
North Bergen Mayor Nicholas Sacco had a close relationship with Ascolese, dating back to the early 1970s.
“We worked together for a very long time,” said Sacco, who is an assistant superintendent of schools like Ascolese was when he retired. “He was a good man, a good role model. His strongest ability was to motivate his players. You never had to worry about North Bergen kids being ready to play. He was the best motivator in football I’ve ever seen. A lot of parents, like me, trusted our children to him. He was dedicated to each and every player. He was there for them. He dedicated a lot of his life to helping kids.”
Superintendent of Schools George Solter was particularly upset with the news of Ascolese’s passing.
“It’s a sad day,” Solter said. “I loved the guy. He was my coach. I played for him and coached with him for 20 years. The one thing you had to admire was his passion. He was passionate about the kids, passionate about the game. That word typifies his life. He was passionate. No one was better in giving a pre-game speech. He could get 1,000 students into a frenzy in the gym for a pep rally. I became part of his family when we were coaching together.”
Gregg and Michael Ascolese, two of the coach’s sons, both had a chance to play for him and later coach with their father.
“It was an honor and privilege to do both with him,” said Michael Ascolese, the coach’s eldest son. “You take your family for granted sometimes. I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have him as a father. His passion for his family, for life, for everything resonates in all of us. His passion will live on in us. Not only was he my Dad, but he was a great coach. My two brothers and I had a great chance to play for him and that’s something I’ll cherish forever. It was a pleasure every day to be with him. We laughed all the time. He always made it fun.”
“To be honest, when I played for him, I never played a position that he coached,” said Gregg Ascolese, who went on to play at Temple University. “He let his assistant coaches coach. That was one of his best attributes. I just had to go out play fast and play hard. To have him as a head coach was amazing, but to coach under him was something special. He always did everything right. People thought he was so intimidating, but they didn’t see the cut-up he was at home. It was nice to experience it all.”
Susan Ascolese, the coach’s eldest daughter, said that she always wanted to be a boy so she could have played for her father.
“It was obviously a privilege being his daughter,” Susan Ascolese said. “The best thing I saw in my Dad was that he treated everyone the same. If he was your coach, your father, your friend, he treated you the same. He never treated anyone differently. He would find the good in someone no matter what. He was truly my role model. It was so comforting to know he was my Dad.”
Sacco said that he doesn’t think there will ever be another coach like Ascolese.
“Long-time coaches are very dedicated, but I don’t know if we’ll ever see anything like this,” Sacco said. “I can’t imagine ever having another like him. That’s why we named the field at Bruins Stadium after him. He’s what legends are made of. And we lost a legend.”
Barone agreed.
“I loved him like a father,” Barone said. “How could you not like a guy like Vinnie Ascolese?”
On Feb. 3, 2009, the Frank McGuire Foundation asked this reporter to conduct an interview with Ascolese in conjunction with Ascolese receiving the McGuire award. The interview was videotaped and appears on YouTube, under “Interview with Coach Ascolese.” The interview is in four parts and focuses on Ascolese’s life as a coach.
The very last question asked of Ascolese during this poignant trip down memory lane was how he wanted to be remembered as a person, as a father and grandfather and as a coach.
“As a person, I want to be remembered as someone who was fair,” Ascolese said. “And that I was a good friend who would do anything to help you. As a father, I want to be remembered as someone who was always there for his children no matter what. And vice versa, it’s a two-way street. They should always be there for you. It’s terrible in this day and age when you see someone who is not well and the family doesn’t bother with them. I had a mother who had Alzheimer’s for five years. That was the greatest lesson in the world. As a coach, I want to be remembered for what I am. I went out to play the game, play it to the best of our ability and hope you win.”
More often than not, Vince Ascolese was a winner, as a coach, as a father, as a man. He will be forever remembered for his contributions to high school sports for a half century. Fifty years of molding young men is an incredible gift to give. There will never be anyone like Vince Ascolese ever again in every way imaginable. He wasn’t comfortable with the legend tag, but there was no bigger legend in Hudson County high school football than the one who won the most games, the most championships, the one who changed the most lives. He leaves a legacy of greatness that will never be matched.
Jim Hague can be reached at OGSMAR@aol.com.
You can also read Jim’s blog at www.jimhaguesports.blogspot.com.