It has been brought to my attention that some readers are concerned with the fact that most of my articles are based, loosely, on the consumption of alcohol (thanks Janie). I said from the get-go that the money I make from writing this column would ultimately end up in the till of a bar’s cash register, so there shouldn’t be much of a surprise.
That having been said, let me highlight some of the bars I went to LAST WEEKEND.
For the past three years, my friend Mark has come down from Buffalo for the Bills/Jets game at the Meadowlands. Each year he comes with the intention of actually going to the game, even to go as far as to purchase tickets for the event. And each year we end up scalping them for booze money about an hour before game time because we’re having too much fun at the bars.
So this time, we just cut to the chase: no tickets, no plans, no rules – just a two-day tear of booze andn belligerence.
We kicked off our sophomoric display of senselessness at home on Saturday with Bloody Marys at noon (the key to a good Bloody – CLAMATO). By 12:30 my buddy was cat-calling like a construction worker from my fire escape. I should have known then that I was in for a rough one.
From there we ventured to Duffy’s (239 Bloomfield St., Hoboken) for a “Wiffle-Ball Pub Crawl.” That’s where everything gets a little fuzzy. I know that we left the pub crawl to go on our own, having Hurricanes at Oddfellows (80 River St., Hoboken), Heinekens at Hobson’s Choice (77 Hudson Place, Hoboken) and hard cider at McSwiggans (110 First St., Hoboken). One thing I do recall as a highlight was a fantastic, Viking-sized steak dinner at Arthur’s (237 Washington St., Hoboken).
I also remember a low-light, having a lengthy discussion with a Briton about my opinion of the Queen of England (sorry Scott, I’m sure she’s a lovely, lovely woman).
Sunday was game day, and proved to be just as messy as Saturday – so much for keeping holy the Sabbath. We watched the 1:00 games at Black Bear (205 Washington St., Hoboken) and then set off on another pub crawl. Sunday’s highlight was watching some nut-job fan be physically removed from the field at the Meadowlands. Sunday’s low-light was being physically removed from Hobson’s Choice for bringing in a pizza.
Somehow we managed to make it through the weekend without any serious EXTERNAL physical injury and without serving any jail time. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any and all people that we came in contact with last weekend. In the spirit of the Clinton legacy, I am denying any and all responsibility for my actions. Let me just say that nobody’s perfect.
Be sure to look for my next column on how I spent $50 trying to make it up to my girlfriend!!!
If you know how I can effectively waste $50 in the metro area, please write to:
“Hal Wastes His Wages”
c/o The Current
1400 Washington Street
Hoboken, New Jersey 07030
Or via e-mail:
Current@hudsonreporter.com