Dear Editor:
I’ve been noticing new billboards about “child support is more than a weekly check – have you given your child any confidence today?” Great concept but fails to acknowledge that both parents must communicate between themselves for the benefit of their kids.
I know of several divorced dads paying over the amount of support/alimony/other financials and who are literally begging their ex-wives/the courts for more visitation. Meanwhile, the mothers are badmouthing their ex-husbands all week so by the time the kids get to see their dads, the kids are brainwashed.
Take it to court? Useless. The divorce rate is up but the courts are so pathetically overburdened. Lawyers charge astronomical fees feeding hope to these dads, then leaving them broke, emotionally and financially. The billboards should stress more that badmouthing of the ex-spouses should be done outside the presence of the children, and that it’s the responsibility of the mothers to enforce visitation. To come out when the father is waiting and say, “well, Johnny is nine and is old enough to make his own decisions, he had decided he is not seeing you today,” and that happening week after week for the father, is very distressing and frustrating.
How do you give your kids confidence when you’re not allowed to see them, even under court order? Call the cops? Sure, but then the dad who is only trying to see his kids gets badmouthed even more. These guys are paying good money every week; then the mothers complain they get stuck with all the child care, but meanwhile they don’t let the dads in because they are too stubborn/hurt/proud/angry. But they’ll take the dads’ money, no problem there. How about a billboard showing mom encouraging a healthy relationship between the children and their dads? The current billboard again erroneously attacks the dad as the bad guy when it could be the mom who is creating the biggest barrier. There are plenty of women’s rights groups but who’s there for the rights of paying dads who are sincerely trying to be good dads.
Sorry gals.
Totally single mom (who received zero child support and whose daughter recently graduated from college, thinking how much easier it could have been with a caring dad).