Hal Wastes His Wages

Hal,

Please, PLEASE GOD, have your next article focus on all of the Sox-fan PINHEADS that suddenly have permeated our neck of the woods. Went to the Black Bear last night… Sox fans. The Village Tavern… Sox
fans.The Bowery Ballroom… Sox fans. The PATH ride back. Sox fans. All with their little queer red "B"
hats, all with the red-on-blue Red Sox jerseys – all pretty arrogant for being right in the middle of YANKEE COUNTRY!!! If the situation were reversed, Yankee fans would be getting pummeled nightly near Faneuil Hall and beaten up on the T. The Sox fans, especially yuppie Sox fans, get a free ride around here. It’s almost as if people are afraid to be mean to them. They’re infesting the whole place and IT MUST STOP!!!
Jason
***********************************************************************
Here here, my brother!!! It’s nauseating to have to deal with these people in our back yard thinking they
can come in here, kick our dog and expect to get away with it. Just the other day I was heckled by some
Bahsten retaahd yelling "Yankees Suck" from his balcony in Hoboken – that’s right, HOBOKEN, NJ and I’m getting my stones busted for wearing a Yankee hat!!!
In no way am I advocating violence in this situation, but passive aggression is certainly called for in
dealing with this Red Menace.

Make these people feel uncomfortable by having boisterous conversations about the following subjects: 26 World Championships are alright considering how the competition has fared; you heard "No, No Nanette" is set to make a triumphant return to Broadway; rumors that J. Lo dumped Affleck for Bucky Dent’s nephew; the possibility that the Big Dig tunnel might be named the Bill Buckner Expressway because it rolls right through Boston. Boycott Sam Adams, chowder and baked beans until the series is over. And make every effort to pronounce the letter "R" when talking in earshot of a Sox fan – that alone should let them know they’re not in Beantown anymore.
I think the reason we’re more accepting of Boston fans is because New Yorkers are used to having people in town from all over the country and all over the world. The majority of outsiders in the Boston area are businessmen who take the shuttle from La Guardia, college students who are either too drunk or too smart to try to converse with the locals, misdirected Irish immigrants whose relatives moved to the wrong city during the Potato Famine, or opposing fans in town for a game. So you can see how they’re not used to dealing with too many people outside their little world.
It wasn’t until I went to college in New England that I realized what it truly meant to be a Yankee fan.
There, I was a pilgrim in an unholy land. Everyone I knew was from "outside Bahsten" and supported the
Boston Red Sox. Four years of "the friggin’ Soawcks ah wicked good this yeah" can really grate on you.
But what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. As Murphy’s Law would have it, the Yanks didn’t win a series until AFTER I was out of college – which is probably just as well, since I would have gotten my
ass kicked from gloating were I still in school.  

What bothers me the most is the alarming number of New Yorkers who are ignorantly pulling for the Red Sux because "they haven’t won one in such a long time." What these people fail to realize is that fact that
Boston fans are the enemy – plain and simple. That sort of logic is like us getting into war with Germany and saying, "Gee, I really hope the Germans pull this one out because they haven’t won one in such a long time."
SCREW THAT!!! Just because the Red Sox haven’t won a World Series since the days of Kaiser Wilhelm doesn’t mean you should cut them any slack. Any Boston fan hearing a statement like that would shrug and say, "Thanks for the suppoaaht ya haad ohn, New Yoaahk still sucks!" If that’s your rationale then at least go for Chicago. Not only are Cubs fans less hostile, but they’ve also been waiting longer – 1908!
Let’s go Yankee fans, step up and let Sox fans throughout the Metro area that they’re not the only
ones fired up for this ALCS. In the immortal words of David Puddy, "It’s the playoffs – gotta support the
team."
As of press time, the Series is still undecided. If, by any bizarre set of circumstances, the Red Sux do get
their classless asses into the World Series, I’ll be spending my wages on either a Cubs or Marlins hat.

If you know how I can effectively waste $50 in the metro area, please write to:

Hal Wastes His Wages
c/o The Hudson Current
1400 Washington Street
Hoboken, New Jersey 07030
or e-mail c_halleron@yahoo.com

CategoriesUncategorized

© 2000, Newspaper Media Group