It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air. So much so that local spiritual psychic JT Traficante called our office last week to talk about love.
“I felt compelled to call you,” he said. “There is a reason we’re talking today.”
Traficante is a Jersey City-based spiritual psychic and life coach, which means he helps people determine what kind of future they want. He considers himself an expert on spiritual matters and uses his intuition to help people figure out what they want.
He believes in destiny, but he also believes that we can determine our own future based on our words and thoughts. He also believes that love is the highest ideal that people can strive for.
“I think the most important thing we come to this planet for is love,” he said. “The planet is like a playground for everybody who’s on it. Love is a most profound thing we can have here. It’s the deepest experience. And love comes in many levels.”
Wild and crazy guys
So what’s it really like out there, we wondered?
The Current hit the streets to find out some local experiences in search of love.
“There are no normal men out there,” said Hoboken resident Dana, 23. “They’re all insane. Well, most of them. No offense.”
Dana meets men at work, in bars, and occasionally online. Her experiences have been less than what she wanted. ” ‘Dave’ went on and on about how much money his family had and how much he’s worth. Country clubs and stuff,” said Dana.
But that was the tip of the ‘bad date’ iceberg. Before she knew it, Dave was making himself a part of her family. “He invited himself to our hometown,” Dana said. “I had mentioned that my father was a tennis fan, and he wanted to play tennis with my dad.”
So why didn’t she just say “no” when Dave invited himself over?
“I didn’t want to be a bitch,” Dana explained. “It was bad. You had to be there.”
Dana has had a series of men who seem to want to skip her and go straight to her family.
“I met Brett online and took him to a restaurant in my hometown,” Dana said. “My parents were there, and my mother drunkenly invited him to a family party the next day, and he came!”
Traficante offers his own explanation as to why guys might seem crazy.
“If someone comes to me with the question asking why are guys weird, I might suggest that they look inside themselves and ask why they think every guy is weird,” he said.
Maybe. Or maybe the guys are just weird – and wanting to be a part of the family isn’t the only problem.
“Guys will blatantly talk about sex,” said Frances, 25, from Hoboken. “They’ll talk about where you’re shaved, how they’re shaved, how they want their woman shaved. There is no couth anymore.”
“When you don’t touch them or hold their hand, they don’t get it,” elaborated Dana. “I had to hold a bag so he wouldn’t hold my hand.”
Courtney, 23, from Hoboken, had her own list of criteria that she counted out on her fingers.
“I don’t want: A. An alcoholic – going out five nights a week. B. A gambling person – what’s with all the Texas Hold ’em, and C. pot smokers.”
Francis added, “They cannot live at home without a good reason, like saving money.”
Jeez, lighten up ladies! If alcoholic gambling drug users who live with their moms aren’t good enough, how’s anybody going to please you?
So what are we looking for?
Trafacante has his own suggestions.
“A lot of people are looking for their soul mate. Someone they can get to know and be comfortable with and grow with and raise a family,” he said.
And there are guys out there who get it right.
“My boyfriend blindfolded me and drove me to a deserted lake,” said Ann, 25, a media buyer from Hoboken. “He walked me into a deserted log cabin still blindfolded and lit candles. (Why was this romantic and not creepy? Because they had been dating for two years.) He told me to count to 10 and take the blindfold off. When I did, he was sitting in front of me with his guitar, and sang a song he wrote for me.”
Surprises seem to go over well.
“My boyfriend lied and told me we were going to a Chinese Buffet in town,” said Arlene, 28, a graphic designer from Jersey City. “He told me to get dressed up and get in the car. Then he said he forgot something and went back in the house. When he came back outside, there was a limo waiting. Inside was wine, a rose, and a card. We took the limo into Manhattan, went to the Marriot Marquis for dinner and drinks, and came back.”
Traficante’s advice is more broad.
“If someone doesn’t have self-love, that’s when they have to go deep inside and work on that, because how good is candy or love another if you don’t love yourself?” he said. “Be lighthearted on dating, and don’t take it so seriously. Let it take its course.”
But the single gals weren’t worried about being alone on Valentines Day, after all.
“On Valentines Day, I’m probably going out drinking with the girls,” said Francis.