“Stay tuned to Sportscenter for the latest tedious developments in the disgraceful Gretzky gambling scandal. Up next, the World Series of Poker from Las Vegas, followed by an exclusive look at the favorite bets in the upcoming Kentucky Derby and an in-depth discussion on NFL Live as to whether or not the officials’ calls affected the spread in Super Bowl XL.”
Sports and gambling have always swum together in the same murky water, and every now and then the two are bound to awkwardly bump elbows. But murkier still is determining the line where the touching is innocent and where it gets a little icky.
Right now, things look a little icky.
Janet Jones-Gretzky, the Hanoi Jane of American hockey (born in Missouri, but you’ll always see her waiving the maple leaf in support of her husband and his Molson swigging brethren), has allegedly gotten more than mildly involved in a gambling ring. While this doesn’t directly affect The Great One, it does bring the Gretzky name into question.
It also brings into question the intelligence/sanity of Gretzky’s assistant coach, Rick Tocchet. I mean, for chrissake, Rick – everyone knows you can’t be in the position you’re in and even mention the word gambling. Two words, Ricky: PETE $*@%!^& ROSE!!! How’d that work out for him?
The problem with this situation is that it goes beyond the innocence of placing a friendly wager. While the people involved in this gambling ring may not even be gambling on the sport in which they are involved, they still leave themselves vulnerable to those who run gambling rings.
Since you can’t run to the local Ladbrokes on this side of the pond, that vice is normally catered to by organized crime. And once they get involved, the integrity of the game is eroded. From the Chicago Black Sox of 1919 to the point shaving scandals of the 1950’s to the Angel Beach High Basketball Scandal documented in “Porky’s Revenge,” organized crime has certainly thrown its weight around in the sports arena.
And it doesn’t matter who you are or how big you are – once you owe the Mob, they’ll collect. Three letters: JFK!!! How’d that work out for him?
Of course, to paraphrase Captain Willard from “Apocalypse Now,” busting someone for gambling in New Jersey is like handing out tickets at the Indy 500. The culture of gambling thrives in our area, so it’s no surprise the alleged ring was busted right here in the Garden State.
Once again, it gets murky. In fact, what Janet Jones-Gretzky is accused of doing is seemingly legal, just downright stupid considering her husband’s place in the pantheon of sporting legend.
And hopefully this was a decent enough check to the boards to snap her out of it. You’d hate to see anything happen to a sport legend’s family – like getting gunned down on the side of a road in North Carolina, for instance.
Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.