I’m a bad Catholic. One could site numerous examples to back that statement from past columns, but this time I’m in direct violation of the edicts of clergy everywhere. That’s right, my brothers and sisters of the Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church – I saw it. And I’ve got to ask, what the hell is the big deal about “The Da Vinci Code,” anyway?
I saw this movie back in 1999 – it was called “Dogma.” Alright, so maybe this latest effort might be a little more artsy and less fartsy, but it had the similar element of Christ’s scion – just swap Linda Fiorentino for Audrey Tautou (apparently Jesus Christ was a raven-haired stunner with captivating eyes).
I guess when Jay and Silent Bob take on venerated doctrines of Catholic faith it’s not too big a deal, but if Opie Cunningham and Forrest Gump take a crack at it, it’s a direct and substantial challenge to the authority of the Vatican. Fact is, it’s FICTION. It has the same historical veracity as “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “National Treasure,” or anything by Oliver Stone.
Of course as they tend to do with Oliver Stone, most people fail to recognize that these are mere theories and concepts put forth to generate discussion and consciousness of an issue – in this case Catholic faith. And to be quite honest, the Catholics have been taking a beating in the realm of public relations lately, so the Church should be glad people are finally talking about anything but those other things (y’know, the things we’re not supposed to talk about…)
In fact, author Dan Brown himself states on his website, “My hope in writing this novel [on which the movie is based] was that the story would serve as a catalyst and a springboard for people to discuss the important topics of faith, religion, and history.”
And I for one believe he succeeded. For instance, I knew nothing of Opus Dei prior to this film. Apparently the Knights of Columbus are the National Guard equivalent of the Catholic Church, whereas Opus Dei are the Special Forces. Of course they’re none to happy with the movie’s portrayal of their organization, but not half as ticked as the albinos. But there is a point where spreading the message goes a bit too far, where pride turns to avarice and gluttony (that’s three out of seven of the Deadly Sins – enough to start worrying) and the marketing frenzy gets out of control.
While watching Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network, arguably an odd place to plug anything of purported religious significance, I saw an ad for a “Da Vinci Code” video game. A $*@%!^& video game!?!? Now that’s just preposterous – what’s next, “The Passion of the Christ” for Xbox?
I could see it now – you could have two players; one guy is Jesus and the other guy is the Roman Guard and they battle it out on the Road to Calvary. Or maybe a musical tour – you could create a band called Opus Dei and The Knights and have them sing their hit song “Shama-Lama-Lujah.” I never read “The Da Vinci Code,” I only saw the movie. The opposite is true about “The Passion of the Christ” – I never saw the movie, I only read the book.
Of course a lot of people seem puzzled when I mention there was a book version of “The Passion of the Christ.” It was written about 2000 years before the movie, and it’s had its own successful marketing campaign, though many might argue that book’s publicists have crossed a line or two in their zeal to promote as well.
Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.