Editor’s note: This is an advice column for men and women who want a real opinion. Due to the saturated singles scene in Hudson County, the Current has found a relationship guru who will help with all your dating dilemmas. Look for advice here every other week.
Dear Ms. Fix-It:
My girlfriend is driving me nuts with this present stuff. All she can talk about is that she wants this and that, and what makes it worse is that she reads into every little thing. She keeps talking about she wants me to get something nice and something that says how much she means to me. If I get her anything that’s not some expensive piece of jewelry, she’s going to think I don’t care about her. But I don’t want her to think I’m all in love or anything either. I’m just not feeling that yet. I’m worried that she’s going to get all upset if I don’t get her something mad expensive though, and I don’t want her to break up with me because I didn’t get her some gold diamond ring. She’s not shallow or anything, but this is our first Christmas together, and when I got her a CD for her birthday, she acted like I didn’t put any thought into it. She didn’t speak to me for a week, and I don’t want to fight again over nothing! What am I supposed to get her that she won’t go analyzing? – Gotta Make Her Happy
Dear Gotta Make Her Happy:
Wow. Lump of coal…that’s the message you need to send this one. I’m curious what you consider shallow, since you insist that she’s not. She’s like the personification of shallow!
I hate the holidays for this very reason. When I’m not in a relationship, I heave a great sigh of relief around Christmas time.
The fact is, any gift should be thoughtful…maybe that’s a girl thing. But this brat equates thoughtful with expensive jewelry? Yuck. Absolutely do not go spending a ton of money on ANYONE who demands it. You need to tell her what an absolute turn-off her behavior is and that the last thing you want to do is put thought into a gift just because she threatens the silent treatment. And to drive home your point, tell her you don’t want to exchange gifts this year. Seriously.
Dear Ms. Fix-It:
There are two women in my life, my fiancé and my sister. I love them both, but they hate each other. They’re both adults, but they can be so childish. It’s especially stressful this time of year when they can be so cold to one another, like on Thanksgiving when my sister told my fiancé she needs to lose a few pounds if she wants to look good in her wedding dress, and later my fiancé told her she shouldn’t have too many helpings at dinner if she wanted to fit into her bridesmaid dress. It’s a lot of little things that one of them will say to the other that bothers me. Then, there are bigger things, like when my fiancé said that we were going to her family’s house for Christmas Eve. My sister threw a fit right in front of our parents. Usually, I spend Christmas and Christmas Eve with my family, but this year, my fiancé and I are dividing the holiday between my family and hers. It’s only fair, but my sister doesn’t see it that way. I’ve tried talking to both of them, but they each insist the other is the one with the problem. The wedding is coming up soon (Valentine’s Day), and I don’t want this kind of tension hanging over what’s supposed to be a joyous day. How do I get them to start acting civil to one another? – Peacekeeper
Dear Peacekeeper:
I don’t think using reason is an option here. You need to get pissed off…loudly! Tell them both to knock it off or else. And while you’re at it, tell them they’re BOTH fatties. That’ll shut them up. Then they’ll probably join forces against you. Perfect!
Ms. Fix-it, a.k.a. Hilary Morris, is a writer, actress, and expert mixologist. She spends her time doling out advice to many of Hudson County’s singles when she’s slinging drinks. While she doesn’t consider herself an expert on relationships, she has survived plenty of heartbreak. Tell her your problem!
If you have any questions that you would like answered by Ms. Fix-it, please submit them to current@hudsonreporter.com. Please put in the subject line “Ms. Fix-it.” The Current reserves the right to edit any letters for content or clarity.