Our recapper for the reality series “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” Eileen Budd, has provided us with one last recap. Take it away!
By Eileen Budd
Since this episode was a bonus to the season, I thought I’d do something different for a recap. This will test your knowledge about the season as well as provide a summary of the Lost Footage episode’s most memorable quotes. If you haven’t been an avid follower of the show, you might want to go back and review the first episode’s recap to get a rundown of the characters.
Ready to play, Who Said It?
1. “I can’t move it and groove it if Mommy isn’t there.”
A. Steve – about getting it on with a cougar, Danielle
B. Albie – about opening a car wash/strip club with his mom, Caroline, as a bouncer
C. Gia – about her mother, Teresa, being at her dance recitals (Who would have thought the phrases “Mother Teresa” and “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” would be in one paragraph?)
2. “It looks like Anna Nicole’s funeral.”
A. Danielle – about Dina’s garish boudoir
B. Dina – about a centerpiece she designed for a wedding
C. Teresa – about the Gay Pride parade
3. “Get some Scope over here.”
A. Albie Sr. – about Caroline breathing on him when she was giving birth to Albie Jr.
B. Lexi (Dina’s daughter) – about brushing her teeth with the dirty water in Cyprus
C. Danielle – about what she wanted after giving her twink, Steve, some action.
4. “I’m at home with my Chihuahua.”
A. Danielle – about people talking about her stealing other women’s husbands
B. Danielle – about the code phrase for snorting cocaine out of a dog bowl
C. Danielle – about her pet nickname for her sex toy
5. “You smell like rotten cheese.”
A. Lauren (Caroline’s daughter) – said to a bride at her wedding at The Brownstone
B. Caroline – to Danielle after she had phone sex with Gucci Model
C. Dina – to cat Grandma Wrinkles before she bathed her
6. “I want the Italian horn.”
A. Caroline – about an upgrade for her Fiat
B. & nbsp; Teresa – about a necklace she sees while shopping
C. Danielle – about wanting to get it on with Fabio
*check out this link to learn sexy Italian phrases with another Fabio http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Fabio_Learn_Italian.aspx
7. “Someone always winds up throwing up at the end of the night.”
A. Gia – about her acting auditions
B. Dina – about eating nasty food at the Meadowlands Fair
C. Steve – about having nasty sex with Danielle
8. “I think she wants me to be a lesbian.”
A. Lexi – about her mother, Dina, not wanting her to grow up and get boobs
B. Jacqueline – about her friendship with Danielle
C. Dina – about her pussycat, Grandma Wrinkles
9. “The pigs stopped and pooped right in front of us.”
A. Dina – about the porkers at a pig race at the Meadowlands Fair
B. Lexi – about livestock in the water park in Cyprus
C. Teresa – about some drunk girls she saw when she was leaving Lua restaurant in Hoboken
10. “Get away from me, you’re disgusting.”
A. Teresa – to Danielle’s friend, a stylist, during a break at the reunion show taping
B. Lauren – to a bride at her wedding at The Brownstone
C. Everyone but Dina – to Dina’s scary hairless cat, Grandma Wrinkles
And, for extra points:
“She’s got plugs in her boobies.”
A. Joe (Teresa’s zeppole husband) – about his wife’s new implants
B. Andy (the host) – about Jacqueline taking ear plugs out from her bosom
C. Lauren – about a hairy bride at her wedding at The Brownstone
Now, do you really need the answers? If you do, then you’re either not a Real Housewives of New Jersey aficionado or you probably got very low SAT scores. But don’t worry, either way, you’ll be ready for the upcoming Season 2 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Answers: 1) C, 2) B, 3) A, 4) A, 5) C, 6) B, 7) B, 8) A, 9) A, 10) A, and bonus question: B