Ever since reading a recent Reporter article about an elderly widow’s luck in love, Secaucus resident Eleanor Kavanagh has been on a mission – a mission to duplicate the widow’s good fortune right here in town.
“Seniors are bored to death! And they don’t have enough social outlets to meet each other for companionship,” said Kavanagh, a tenant in Kroll Heights, one of three senior citizen buildings in town. Inspired by the story of Martha Martucci, who was profiled two weeks ago as part of a Reporter Valentine’s Day article, Kavanagh wants to do something about it.
“The problem is finding guys for the ladies.” – Linda Fanning
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Secaucus resident Kavanagh understands the lure of Parents Without Partners.
“I used to go to [their events] and dance and laugh,” she said. “It’s a night out and it’s a great place to go. Even if you don’t find somebody, it’s still a great night out.”
She noted that the organization used to host events at the Archway, an events hall in Secaucus, and in other Hudson county towns. “There was always cake and coffee. The guys would come over and ask you to dance. There are a lot of men in Parents Without Partners.”
So Kavanagh has asked Secaucus Social Services Director Lisa Snedeker and Linda Fanning, recreational coordinator for the Secaucus Senior Center, to approach the organization about hosting a few events in town.
“A lot of seniors go over to the Senior Center,” said Kavanagh, who used to organize senior trips to Atlantic City and dinner theater spots. “But I don’t think anybody really meets over there. It’s nothing where you could really sit down and have a conversation with a man or have a bite to eat with him.”
Senior Center employees organize such monthly events BINGO games, cards games, gardening, and shopping trips. And the Secaucus Public Library and Business Resource Center hosts free movie screenings most Tuesdays that are popular with seniors.
Working with Parents Without Partners, Kavanagh hopes to plan some senior socials that create more of a “date” atmosphere.
“Most of the seniors don’t want anybody to come and live with them anymore,” she said. “They want to sit down, have a conversation, go out to dinner, maybe go someplace where you can dance.”
An e-mail sent to Parents Without Partners seeking comment was not returned by press time.
‘Hard to find a gentleman’
Kavanagh and Fanning agreed last week that seniors face unique challenges when seeking companionship – starting with the lopsided ratio of women to men.
“There’s like four women to every man, and it’s sad because you don’t have that big a choice. And the men today are not like the men of years ago,” Kavanagh commented. “It’s very hard to find a gentleman.”
Fanning agreed that courtship is rare in the senior buildings – Rocco Impreveduto Towers, the Elms, and Kroll Heights.
“The problem is finding guys for the ladies. They just want someone to go to the movies with or have a conversation with. And so far many of them haven’t found it,” she said. “Some people move in with their spouse, but we don’t have many couples. It’s mainly women living by themselves.”
Some women, she added, are widowed, while others divorced years ago and never remarried.
“There are some residents like [Kavanagh] who are pretty active,” Fanning continued. “But others move in, stay in their apartment, and never come out.”
A lack of mobility is also a problem.
“A lot of the seniors here don’t drive,” Fanning said.
Kavanagh said she suffers from night blindness herself and rarely drives.
Closer to home
“What I want to do is start something up in the town so people wouldn’t have that far to go, so it wouldn’t be a problem if they don’t drive,” said Kavanagh.
After a long hiatus, Snedeker convinced the town to resurrect the “senior prom” given for the town’s retirees and hosted by the Senior Center.
Whether Parents Without Partners is interested in hosting events in town or not, Kavanagh said she wants to help plan more events like the senior prom and other similar socials.
“We could hold events where people could really meet and socialize, rather than focus on some activity they’re doing,” she said.
E-mail E. Assata Wright at awright@hudsonreporter.com.