Well, it seems like just yesterday we were cowering in our closets (or any other room of urban apartments – same difference) fearing that computer glitches would rend our lives asunder. In fact, it was yesterday. In fact, you might be reading this in your underground bunker with only a Sterno can to warm you. But there is something else to warm you: the Reporter’s annual psychic predictions for the coming year. Each year, we gaze into our cracked crystal ball in order to write a recap of a year that didn’t even happen yet. This year was no different. What we found when we looked into the future and then regarded it as the past was astounding and confounding. Here is the recap: January Hudson County comes through the Y2K change successfully except that a mysterious computer virus forces computers throughout the area to repeat text. Hudson County comes through the Y2K change successfully except that a mysterious computer virus forces computers throughout the area to repeat text. The long-standing sexual harassment lawsuit against various county officials by former deputy public relations person Michelle Dupey is dropped after she and County Executive Robert Janiszewski decide to marry at a public ceremony to be held in Liberty State Park over July 4 weekend. The event coincides with the Operation Sail 2000 big ship celebrations in the harbor. Instead of cutting the cake, the newlyweds set off the fire works. Tom Troyer, defeated Republican mayoral candidate in Secaucus, is named Mayor Dennis Elwell’s secretary. Troyer – well known for his musical parodies – has vowed to make all of the mayor’s outgoing correspondence rhyme. As part of the year’s “Mysteries of Science” exhibit at Liberty Science Center, Jersey City’s hiring practices are examined. Apparently, even with a major hole in the budget, the city continues to hire high-paid consultants to provide bad advice to the local government. February West New York Acting Superintendent of Schools Anthony Yankovich reveals that he is actually related to song satirist extraordinaire “Weird Al” Yankovic. Yankovich entices his curly-tressed cousin to come in to the schools to performs his hit parodies like the classic “Eat It” (a parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”) and the more-recent “Amish Paradise” (a parody of Coolio’s “Gangster’s Paradise.”) He also debuts some new songs tailor-made for the occasion. He opens with a version of Madonna’s “Borderline” which he calls “Bergenline,” and winds up with a rousing Springsteen-esque song entitled, “Born in the U.E.Z.” Hoboken creates one giant wait list for everyone who wants an apartment there. Preference points are given for not having a car; for knowing how to pronounce Elysian; and for demonstrating a severe medical need for really good “mutz.” March The Secaucus Town Council awards former Mayor Anthony Just a lifetime pension provided he stops calling the FBI every day, stops writing letters to the state Attorney General’s office, and moves out of town before the November election. The police are called to a Hoboken Parking Authority meeting after 100 angry residents show up chanting, “Two, four, six, eight