Dear Editor:
While it is very satisfying to see the anti-bullying programs being initiated throughout the Secaucus school district, this epidemic problem is clearly ripe within our national culture. Children, from early on, learn bullying. And while we, as parents, can only control what our children are exposed to in the popular culture, we can take ownership for our own behavior and consistently hold up standards of character excellence.
Bullying, in any form, from any age person, is unacceptable behavior in society.
In the increasingly global business environment, bullies are passed by. “Team players,” or those with the emotional maturity to find a way to get along with the majority, are desired by the global workforce.
We can really help our children learn how to recognize and stand up to bullies if we create tandem initiatives on the adult level that reinforce what they are now learning in school.
Parents need to step in when they witness verbal or physical fighting, or learn about cyber bullying between classmates.
Adults at children’s sporting events who do not exhibit sportsmanship-like behavior should be “shut out” by others at the game. While I’ve seen other parents roll their eyes to each other in reaction to the adult “bully,” I’ve rarely seen them say “Hey, it’s only a kid’s game.” I suspect they are, like children, intimidated by how the bully might respond. But if everyone just got up from the bleachers and walked away, sitting or standing somewhere else in the gym, these individuals would be left to rant and rave alone, their bad behavior exposed for what it is.
In addition to what our children are learning about bullying in school, I suggest another way to cut down on adult bullies: send children home with an assignment to interview their parents about what they think of people who act as bullies. Responding to their children’s questions might wake up a few adults to their own bullying tendencies.
Parent/teacher conferences might begin with the principal citing a list of demerits children who bully will get for bullying behavior, and then explain what constitutes bullying behavior.
And finally, let’s reward the kids who are exhibiting good character … and give out those rewards generously throughout the school year. While it’s great to hand out awards for high marks or athletic prowess, in today’s global workforce, those who can “get along with anyone” and are of average intelligence are being awarded the jobs while the so-called “geniuses” who can’t work within a team are being passed over.
Bullying has truly become an economic issue as well as a social one. The leaders of the future, more than ever before in history, need to exhibit grace under pressure, an ability to treat others as they would like to be treated, as well as skills to compete. Let’s make sure our kids are ready in every way to embrace that new future.
Marianne Correri