For anyone who has followed Bethenny Frankel’s career as a real housewife, what you see is what you get.
Frankel is coming to Hoboken on Monday to talk about her new book on dating, “I Suck at Relationships; So You Don’t Have To.”
She is currently on “The Real Housewives of New York” and will be doing a book signing with Moxy & Main at McLoone’s Pier House on May 4.
“Here’s my confession: I suck at relationships. As good as I am in business, that’s how bad I am at love. I find relationships to be just about the most impossible thing in the world and I’ve do so many things the wrong way that I’ve become, strangely, a sort of expert at what not to do,” she said in an interview.
The book provides “Ten rules for not screwing up your happily ever after.”
Frankel herself finally got married to New York real estate agent Jason Hoppy in 2010, had a daughter, then got divorced.
A successful entrepreneur, mom, and TV star, she admits that she has had a tough time in relationships. But that from this she has learned a few things that she can pass on to other people.
The book, she admits, is largely written as advice to women, but can help men understand women better.
“Most men think women are crazy, and most women think men are idiots,” Frankel said.
She said her book explores the differences between men and women, and for men, reading it is like listening to an upfront conversation between women.
“Men would get to listen to women talk to each other,” Frankel said.
While not a success at relationship, Frankel said that – as she has in business – she has learned from her mistakes. While there are no firm rules when it comes to what you should do early on in a relationship, she says it is unwise to press for a commitment early on or to reveal too much.
In one interview, she said a woman should not give away how interested she is in a man. So, at what point should she finally expose her feelings?
“When she feels comfortable when man is going to be locked in,” she said. “Women who seem least interested are the ones who get what they want.”
She added, “They should not settle. They should get what they deserve.”
Hoboken and Jersey City are hip dating places, but the advice she gives is pretty much universal except with the caveat that in smaller communities, what you do gets around.
“If you date a number of people in a place like New York or Hoboken, you’re pretty anonymous. If you date a lot of people in a small town, you may be dating the whole town,” she said.
In putting together the book with Eve Adamson, Frankel said she learned a lot about the differences between men and women.
“I came to realize how we as women get sucked up in something, go down wrong road,” she said.
Meet Frankel in Hoboken on Monday, May 4 at 7:30 p.m. at Moxy & Main in McLoones Pier House (1300 Frank Sinatra Drive.) Who knows – maybe she’ll move here like the Manzo brothers on the New Jersey Housewives!
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