NEW JERSEY — Welcome to another recap of the ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey,’ brought to you by the Hudson Reporter newspapers, based in Hoboken. Since the Manzo boys live here in Hoboken, we bring you weekly recaps of this show, which should be subtitled, “Are You As Mature As An Eighth Grader?”
Anyway, there was so much goodness in this week’s reunion that we’re going to just give you some highlights. Remember to watch for a recap of next week’s show, Part 3. Who knows – maybe they’ll continue with lost footage parts 1 through 12. All of the other “Housewives” shows have gotten boring by comparison.
Some highlights:
-Teresa Giudice said she felt bullied by Caroline Manzo for the whole season. Caroline challenged her to give her even one example. Teresa couldn’t. She said, “The whole season.”
-Teresa asked Jacqueline Laurita and Caroline how they’d feel if their sisters-in-law joined the show without telling them. She was very upset when Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile got on the show. Caroline said that she felt the same way when Teresa invited her sister Dina to Teresa’s event, thus putting her on the show. Well, Caroline, we can see the similarities, but this is a scene in the series vs. the ENTIRE SERIES.
-Andy Cohen asked Teresa if she now regretted how she treated Danielle during season 1, knowing how it feels now. Teresa said simply, “Yes.” It’s lucky it took this long to realize it. We might never have gotten that great table-flipping moment otherwise.
-There was a montage of the best Rosie moments, including coming out of the closet to sister Kathy’s kids. Rosie said that Kathy’s kids didn’t know she was gay. Uh huh. Wait until they find out about Andy Cohen.
-Teresa said something about never having heart Melissa really sing by herself, without help. Melissa sang right in front of her. Teresa said it still wasn’t a whole song. She also said that “On Display” was about her. Okay, now we are starting to see what the other women mean about her thinking everything is about her. I bet you think this recap’s about you, don’t you, don’t you…
-Here’s a startler. Melissa and Joe Gorga are moving. Andy asked why. Melissa reluctantly said that they’re moving so their kids won’t go to school with Teresa’s kids. They don’t want Teresa’s daughters ganging up on her daughter when she gets old enough. Hey, come on, Melissa. Isn’t there a little time to prepare for that? Maybe the school can have a bunch of anti-bullying workshops, taught by Caroline Manzo!
-Here’s the highlight. Joe Giudice comes on. Andy asks who he was talking to in the classic phone call where it seemed like he was murmuring to a paramour and said “Here comes my —– wife.” Joe responded to Andy by saying, “Albie.” Huh? Turns out, Albie is his longtime friend, he says, and they were taking care of business back home. So…why the secrecy? Joe’s answer wasn’t very clear. But he said calling his wife the c-word was costly. He had to buy a lot of jewelry. And not c-ubic zarconias.
Jacqueline said that Teresa has told her about various indiscretions of Joe’s, involving a baby sitter and a secretary. Come on. Are women that hard up that they want a married little Michelin Man with four kids? Maybe if he was a political candidate it might make sense.
Joe also said that Teresa keeps her own money. We’re not buying this (or jewelry). Isn’t she keeping them all afloat, with their financial problems and their 1,000 room house? They should take on the Gorgas as boarders, and perhaps their parents too.
-Next week, the guys get their turn on the couch. Should be good.
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