NEW JERSEY — ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’, the Bravo reality show that stars three young Hoboken residents (and their older relatives who are housewives), neared its end this week with the first part of what will be a three-part reunion show. And an explosive reunion it was!
All of the women crossed lines that most people usually don’t cross during arguments:
-Bringing up someone’s dead father
-Threatening physical violence
-Bashing someone’s public appearance (and clothes), and
-Criticizing the activities of their kids.
Wait. Are we getting ahead of ourselves? Or maybe we should adopt the favorite line of Teresa and her relatives: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”
So it’s been a rough season. Teresa Giudice was fighting with her relatives, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, and Kathy Wakile. She started trying to patch things up. Then some sneaky guy at a fashion show accused Melissa of having been a dancer for his (probably seedy) club in Elizabeth years ago. Melissa and Jackie Laurita suspected Teresa set Melissa up to be embarrassed. That undid any progress, and Teresa hasn’t spoken to Melissa, Jackie, or the others in a year.
Meanwhile, Teresa also lost her friendships with Jackie Laurita’s family, sister-in-law Caroline Manzo (mother of the Hoboken Manzo boys) and others.
So this season was mostly figuring out who was on who’s side. The women would try to repair relationships, but they’d get broken again, and they’ll all accuse each other of being liars, copycats, etc.
Until the reunion show, which went far beyond that.
Show matriarch Caroline Manzo was relatively tame, probably because — as host Andy Cohen pointed out — she came across as a bully this season.
One of the people she wasn’t all that nice to at times during this season was her daughter Lauren, who struggles with her weight. In a surprise twist, Lauren came to the reunion having lost 35 pounds. She had a lap band. (Someone should have done a count of the various other things the women admitted to having had “done” to their bodies in this episode).
Suffice it to say that on the reunion show, these women were still arguing over the same betrayals they argued about last season. The fashion show incident brought it all back.
The insults were flying so quickly that it’s hard to remember all of the best ones. Insults were outnumbered only by cuss words. It became a contest to see who could be the toughest. Even Mommy Obvious (Kathy Wakile) and Jackie Laurita let loose.
There was a serious moment, though – Bravo showed a montage of Jackie’s son Nicholas, whom she recently revealed is autistic. The music playing during the montage, and the solemn footage of him, made it seem like he was dead. Obviously Jackie has a lot of work to do with Nicholas, but cut the drama already, Bravo! Or at least, cut the somber music.
In any case, the climax of the episode was Teresa saying something to Kathy Wakile about how she and Richie had (according to Teresa’s mom) almost gotten divorced. Kathy shot back that Teresa’s mom was a liar. Teresa invoked Kathy’s father, and from the background, all sorts of threats and insults came flying fast. Turns out that Kathy’s cousin Rosie was backstage, and she was livid. “MY FATHER IS UNTOUCHABLE!” she yelled, between threats. The wise-ass Bravo producers showed exterior shots to accompany Rosie’s yelling, implying that she could be heard outside of the casino where they were filming. Tsk.
Judging from the scenes from next week, the highlight of Part 2 will be Jackie referring to Teresa’s husband’s…er, extracurricular activities. Maybe two questions will be answered:
1. Who was Joe talking to on the phone?
2. Was Melissa a dancer, or not?
Well, I’m sure the fans will miss this season after it ends. We at the Hudson Reporter newspapers (based in Hoboken) will miss it…and why? Well, take a look at the hit count up there. As Teresa would say, Are you kidding me?
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