Not a moment goes by in which Michael A. Pellagatti doesn’t struggle with fear.
The 18-year-old Bayonne High School student has always fought to express himself, always looking out from some window deep inside himself at the world.
“I lived with ACD, ADHYD, Asperger’s Syndrome, high anxiety, panic disorder, and with being alone (except for my family) for most of my life,” he wrote in the notes to a self-published book. “I’ve lived for 17 years, and I still have hope.”
Hope is part of the reason he wrote his fairy tale, “Puzzled,” he said, calling it “an original fairy tale for all those who dream.”
He said he knows it is not the most perfect story he could come up with, but something that he thought up several years ago and which stayed with him.
“I wrote this from my mind on the subject of autism, as you can tell by the name,” he said.
“Every man, woman, and child each has a chance to live very happy lives no matter what they have.” – Michael Pellagatti
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“Every man, woman, and child each has a chance to live very happy lives no matter what they have,” he said.
A reader
An active reader of poetry since he attended Midtown Community Elementary School, Michael has always had a way with words. Sometimes he seemed to be able to convey in the written word things that he struggled to work out in other ways.
He grew up watching TV and reading, and is a fan of the “Harry Potter” series of fantasy books.
Although he had a lot of ideas, he knew his book had to be a story of a boy. He was in the seventh grade at the time he started thinking about it. He wrote some of it, but didn’t have a plot or title at first.
But he’s written other fairy tales.
He said he wanted this to be a story of someone’s life, and how they came through trials to get what they wanted in the end.
The main character’s name is Aspie, a metaphor for the disease he suffers from. The story starts off in a town called Fitzburg, with a contest held every 18 years to find the smartest person.
“The winner would be granted one wish by the king,” the story says. But the contest gives an evil witch a chance to conquer the land, and she keeps winning round after round. She eventually loses to a beggar woman, who in turn asks the king for a nice cottage and a supply of food for life.
The woman later gives birth to a boy who has a hinge and a keyhole in his head, and a key in his mouth.
“The woman used the key to open the boy’s head and, sure enough, his mind was a puzzle, just as the witch foretold,” the story said. “She named the boy Aspie.”
The boy grew up playing with woodland creatures who taught him skills, but he had to be careful because a trip could cause a piece of his mind to come loose and fall out of his ears, nose, or mouth.
The story shows the boy growing up and the care he needs to take when dealing with society, the things he has to overcome, and how he eventually meets the girl with whom he will fall in love.
“My name is Lily, the flower girl,” she tells Aspie, and he can think of little else later, even when he comes home.
But in order to win her, Aspie has to go on a quest and win the Pendant of Knowledge for the witch. The story is about how, by using the skills he learned from others, he was able to overcome all obstacles and eventually win.
Michael intends to go to college
Michael is headed for college, most likely New Jersey City University or St. Peter’s College in Jersey City, and hopes to continue his writing.
“I’d like to make people happy,” he said.
His goal also is to give an inside view of what it feels like to be autistic, although it is important to know that not everyone who is autistic is the same – that each person has a unique view and his or her own sets of things they need to overcome.
He said he is always challenged.
During lunch, he said, he was trying to talk and found himself unable to express what he needed to say.
“I’m always edgy,” he said. “I’m always trying to cope with my fears. But I believe that one day, I’ll get through it.”
He said with the therapy he’s already undergone, he has come a long way.
Diagnosed at 2 years old, he started making friends relatively recently, especially in high school, where he made an effort to talk to others in a deliberate attempt to reach out and break through what he saw as limiting him.
Working one on one with a counselor, Michael says he’s learned how to focus his attention, and to maintain self control.
He said he gets nervous when dealing with other people, but has learned to overcome some of those fears.
“But I’m still nervous,” he said.
He said the Simpson-Baber Foundation, which helps provide educational tools for autistic kids, helped him over the years.
Oddly enough, video games have helped as well.
He loves watching movies, especially Disney movies, which might explain his fairy tale’s search for a positive ending.
He became very interested in developing his character and the plot.
Many things he works out in his head in school, such as mathematics, in which he seems to do well in and finds highly interesting.
He likes to think that other people respect him, and he wants people to be happy, seeing himself as living well.
“My main goal is to fall in love,” he said. He recently wrote a poem to a girl he knows, asking for a date.
He says life has its ups and downs, with good days and bad days. He’s simply learned to live with it.