HUDSON COUNTY — Since basketball star Kris Humphries is reportedly living in Hoboken again (either at 800 Madison or the Tea Building, depending who you ask), we are bringing you recaps of the reality show that chronicles the breakdown of his marriage to model Kim Kardashian, which brought him back to the mile-square city. And away we go…
So for this past Sunday Night, E! promised two episodes instead of one. Actually, they were two half-hour episodes instead of the usual one-hour episode. Gosh, what a gift. Do they really think we don’t know math? In any case, the show started with Kim and Kourtney (or any two Kardashian sisters; sometimes it’s hard to remember who did what) complaining that the paparazzi were taking photos of them through the window of the gym where they were working out. It’s always important to work out in front of a window.
They return home, to their suite at the Gansevoort Hotel in New York City, and announce that they need a break and they’re going to take a little trip. So just to reiterate: They need to go away to a hotel in order to get a break from their fancy hotel. Oy, we should all have such problems.
They say they know a cute bed-and-breakfast in Mystic, Conn. Then they note that it’s going to be a sisters’ weekend, and the boys are not invited. Hmmm, that’s a good way to show love for your significant others: go to a romantic inn without them.
While Kim is away, Kris Humphries heads to Toronto to make an appearance at a club. For some reason, he’s afraid to tell Kim, even though he’s mentioned it before. We suppose he think she’d just say no. Sounds like a double standard, since Kim soon jets off to make an appearance in Dubai without him.
Now, a word about this. She is flown out there to appear at a milkshake place at a mall. Exactly how much money is in Dubai?? Even more than we imagined, apparently. The milkshake place is run by a milk…sheik. Ha ha ha.
Kim confides to Kris (Jenner, her mom) that she’s not really missing Kris (Humphries). Kris (Jenner) responds that this is not normal for newlyweds. Kim acknowledges that something isn’t right with the marriage. Da da dum…
Meanwhile, back home, Khloe is in town visiting and decides it’s time to get to know Kris Humphries better. She does this by toiletpapering his room and setting loose a pet snake. Obviously this doesn’t work. She should have put sugar in his gas tank and beat up his grandma too.
Stay tuned for things to really fall apart.
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