Valentine’s Day – a made-up holiday that many couples will feel pressured to celebrate next Sunday – can be blamed for two phenomena: boosting the sales of jewelry, flowers, candy, and Hallmark cards; and making many singles feel like crap.
As V-Day nears, the “unattached,” as they’re ominously known, may wade through store aisles filled with red hearts and wonder, Where can I find someone?
So where do singles in Hudson County meet these days? The internet? Work? Blind dates? Speed dating? Does anybody ever really meet a long-term mate in a bar?
“I would like to meet somebody,” admitted North Bergen resident Elba Hernandez last week while out walking her dog in a park. “I don’t go anywhere at the moment. I wish I knew of someplace to go to meet somebody, you know, a gentleman, a nice guy who’s working and knows how to respect a woman.”
“I was just looking for companionship.” – Marth Martucci
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Hernandez may want to follow the lead of fellow North Bergen resident Martha Martucci, who seems to have had an awful lot of luck finding gentlemen through the organization Parents without Partners.
“I was married about 50 years. I lost my husband 15 years ago. Four years after that, I went to Parents without Partners and met a very nice man. He and I were together for close to nine years.”
Martucci and that second beau never married and never lived together, but were companions for nearly a decade before he, too, passed away from a heart attack.
“You never get over the loss of a husband,” Martucci said. “But God sent me that man to help me cope and get on.”
She was single for about three years before realizing she again wanted companionship and friends with whom she could socialize.
“I went back to Parents without Partners and I met [another] man,” she explained. “I really didn’t know, I had already lost two, but…”
Martucci, who has three grown children from her marriage, has been with beau no. 3 for three years. As with her previous mate, they have decided not to marry or live together.
“We’ll see what the future brings. I know I’ll never marry again. But I want to say to people that think that there’s nothing out there, there’s always something,” Martucci stated, adding she didn’t think she was young enough to meet people online. “I wasn’t searching for [a relationship]. I was just looking for companionship. But you never know.”
Easy riders
Newlywed Secaucus resident Ronald McCall admits he usually listened to music and kept a set of earphones plugged into his ears while riding the 190 NJ Transit bus. But that didn’t keep him from noticing the attractive woman who often took the same bus and wore a union jacket.
McCall would often take the bus from Paterson to Jersey City; the attractive lady, he would later discover, would travel from Rutherford to Jamaica, Queens, using the 190 for part of her trip.
“I had my Walkman on all the time,” he recalled, telling the story of how he and his wife met. “I seen her get on the bus with a union jacket and I’m a union laborer. One day she got on and I didn’t have my Walkman. She said, ‘Could I sit next you?’ I had a knapsack sitting next to me. I said, ‘Sure you can. Where’s you union jacket?’ She said, ‘Where’s your Walkman?!’ “
That ride began a 10-month romance that led to a wedding. McCall and his wife Jo-Ann McCall, who still live in Secaucus, celebrated their one-year anniversary on Dec. 9.
Speaking outside Marra’s drug store last week, McCall added, “I thank God for that 190 bus!”
Love bites
Hoboken resident Ellen Goodlett may not necessarily thank God for the online game “Vampires: A Dark Alleyway,” but she is thankful nevertheless.
The 22-year-old met her English boyfriend of four years while playing the text-based Internet game together online.
“When we were 15, we started playing the same game online, and we started talking through that,” she remembers. “He lives in England and we weren’t able to meet until I was 19 when I was studying abroad in Barcelona.”
During her year abroad, she said she flew to England to meet him. From there, romance ensued. The long-distance pair have decided to take the relationship to the next level: In September he applied for a U.S. visa and he expects to move to Hoboken this summer.
Goodlett said “pretty much all my friends” have given online dating a try in some form or other, often with mixed results. But, pointing to her own story, she said, “obviously, [meeting someone online] can work.”
Something single Elba Hernandez might keep in mind.
“I’m not too young,” she said, “but I’m still looking.”
Photos and additional reporting by Tricia Tirella.
E-mail E. Assata Wright at awright@hudsonreporter.com.
Sidebar
Mingle with local singles
Looking for a companion, but don’t know where to begin? There are a few events during the Valentine’s Day season for Hudson County locals seeking to spend the holiday with other singles.
On Saturday Feb. 13, Statue Cruise will be hosting their “Last Chance” Valentine’s Day cruise from 9 to 11 p.m. The event is $35, while open bar is an additional $69. The event will feature live music and tickets will be sold to an equal number of men and women.
The cruise will depart from Liberty State Park’s Slip A at 8:30 p.m. Statue Cruises will also be hosting a Valentine’s Day Dessert cruise on Feb. 14, which will be open to singles and non-singles alike.
For more information or to purchase tickets, visit www.statuecruises.com.
On Feb. 9 Larry Levine, who often does fire walking seminars in the area, will be hosting “The Language of Love,” a lecture about how people communicate love and the ways miscommunication often occur. The program will run from 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. at Suite 400, 200 Washington St., Hoboken, N.J. Levine is asking for a $10 donation.
For more information, visit http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=303405707618&ref=ts.
Another venue to meet locals is Hoboken Happy Hour Group (www.hobokenhappyhour.com), which began six and a half years ago as a way for people to make new friends. The organized two pre-Valentine’s Day social events and have many activities planned for the future.
If bars aren’t your cup of tea, “Smart Party in NYC,” founded by North Bergen resident Lynn Earley, will be hosting “Swoon,” a alcohol-free event, on Feb. 12.
The singles party will be from 8 to 10 p.m. at the Grassroots Community Space, located at 54 Coles St. in Jersey City. “Mocktails,” desserts, and snacks will be provided for a cover charge of $5. – T.T.