If She Had Survived

Emigrated here
Had her own panel discussion show on public TV
Published eight volumes of poems
Appeared in an early Woody Allen film as herself
Seen an entire section of the Cloisters named Ann Frank Gardens
Been close friends with Streisand, vacationed with Clooney
Produced her own line of young adult wear for Macy’s
Gotten a lucrative endorsement deal with Ballpark Franks
Eventually been named ambassador to Holland
Been instrumental in establishing Holland’s first women’s ice hockey team
Married Henry Kissinger
Feuded with Georgia O’Keefe
Gotten caught up in an adulterous relationship with Norman Mailer
Divorced Kissinger, broken up with Mailer, fallen for Susan Sontag
Broken up with Sontag, adopted a pet monkey
Been linked with Derek Jeter
Become addicted to Japanese word puzzles
Had a small bridge in Delaware named after her
Demanded Ingrid Bergman play her in the movie
Lost a bundle in the Madoff scam
Briefly become Andy Warhol’s muse
Become a Hoboken Library trustee after settling there
Handed out fliers demanding more parking spaces
Developed her particular fragrance and skin cream
Gotten into heated debate on immigration with Bill O’Reilly
Introduced to Philly fans — booed lustily
Won $8,000 on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?
Gotten sued for plagiarism by another survivor memoirist
Had chronic weak ankles
Become a devotee of Pilates
Begun calling everyone ‘hon’ or ‘sweetie’
Gotten a hunting license
Become addicted to frozen peas
Kept popping blisters on feet
Eliminated early from Dancing with the Stars
Counseled David Hasselhoff in his darkest days
Done infomercial for organic produce
Been rejected for house mortgage due to low credit rating
Been spotted leaving club with Lindsay Lohan
Been given honorary degree by William Patterson College
Fasted only on boneless chicken and low fat yogurt
Been awarded another degree by jealous Montclair State
Appeared briefly in Hoboken High’s new production of Cats
Declared Historical Landmark by NJ – Joe Del Priore
Write an essay or poem and be like Joe. E-mail A href=mailto:editorial@hudsonreporter.com>editorial@hudsonreporter.com.