Next election, let’s save a few trees

Dear Editor:
There was one thing this election season taught me about Hoboken politicians: they hate trees.
Each day after work, walking down Washington Street, I would try to avoid eye contact with a half dozen campaign staffers. I would usually fail a few times and begrudgingly take the flyers and pamphlets shoved in my chest. Then, arriving on my doorstep, I would check the mailbox and sigh: three more promotional materials full of slander and vague generalities.
In the beginning of the campaign season I was excited to learn everything I could about the candidates. I thought maybe if I had done more homework last election I could have predicted the future of Cammarano. I foresaw myself revisiting my college days by pulling a couple all nighters researching each candidate’s life history.
This motivation for self-education was short lived. Soon the paper faces of Beth, Frank, Dawn and Kimberly would haunt my dreams. Especially Mrs. Mason…I’m pretty sure her campaign is solely responsible for the extinction of one rain forest in the Congo Basin.
Why did these candidates not take advantage of our technology rich age? Have they ever heard of social media? Do they really have no environmental conscience? These eco-unconscious tactics soon began altering my election strategies. The best candidate began to look like the candidate I knew nothing about. I was intrigued by their anonymity.
But in the end, I am happy with Dawn Zimmer’s victory. Her vote per dollar-spent ratio was much higher than that of Beth or Frank, maybe that means she’s the best candidate to fix our budget. And at least it shows that Hoboken citizens are not persuaded by image repetition; we actually think before we vote.
So congratulations to Dawn on her victory. However, if Hoboken remains my home for the years to come I will be contemplating my candidacy for 2013. I would be running the first paperless campaign. No longer will Hoboken’s mayor be swayed by printing press lobbyists, lumberjack pressure groups and those irritable ink manufacturer activists.

Looking forward to the future,
Mike Starosciak

© 2000, Newspaper Media Group