A few hours before Bayonne High School senior Bobby Murray was supposed to go the prom, his date, also a BHS student, was told by the school’s office that she could not attend.
She apparently had violated the school uniform policy too many times, and was banned from attending extracurricular events such as the school prom.
The Bayonne school district implemented the school uniform policy two years ago in elementary schools, expanding the program to the high school at the beginning of the school year.
Some residents, such as Bobby’s father, question how the policy is being implemented, while others question whether or not the punishment is too severe.
Bob Murray said his son was denied a memorable moment because his girlfriend was banned from the prom.
“This was not her prom, it was my son’s,” Murray said. “While the school said he could take another date, he didn’t want another date.”
So his son didn’t go to the prom – after having spent $500 for the affair.
The school has agreed to reimburse the costs associated with the cancellation. Murray said the school couldn’t restore the lost memory.
“I could not care less about the uniform policy, nor could I care about how many times she was in violation,” Murray said. “If she was in violation, she shouldn’t be allowed to go to her prom. This wasn’t her prom, it was my son’s, and the school and the school board took that once in a lifetime opportunity away from him.”
Murray was more upset with the timing of the notice, rather than the policy itself.
“The morning of the prom, his date (a junior at BHS) was called down to the office and told she couldn’t go,” Murray said. “This was because she, at one point or another, was in violation of the school uniform policy.”
School officials, however, said Murray’s son’s date had received numerous warnings about her violation of the school uniform policy.
Punishment, which can include being banned from all clubs and extracurricular activities, even attending the school prom or graduation, comes only after 10 or more violations, and in the case of this and another student banned from the prom, notifications had been made leading up to the final event.
“It is unfortunate that students were not permitted to attend the Bayonne High School prom as a result of being out of compliance with the district’s uniform policy,” said Schools Superintendent Dr. Patricia McGeehan. “However, the students and their parents were well aware of the policy, as well as the consequences for non-compliance. When a student chooses not to wear the required uniform, they have to realize that they are also choosing the consequences which go along with the decision.”
The uniform policy was made possible by legislation introduced by then Assemblyman Joseph Doria in the late 1990s, although Doria’s legislation originally called for no punitive action against violators. Yet school districts – which have met specific criteria for public review – are permitted to take action against students for non-compliance.
Young Murray’s girlfriend, according to school officials, had been notified by mail that she was ineligible to attend the prom.
Murray claimed she did not know, and as soon as he found out, requested the school district make an exception.
“I believe people should follow the rules,” Murray said. “But I also think there are times when exceptions should be made.”
Critics of the uniform policy, such as Laura DePinto, claim that punishment for uniform violations tend to be harsher than those for students found in violation of the school’s drug policies.
DePinto and others opposed the uniform policy from the day it was first implemented in elementary schools, questioning the results of a parent survey (a mandate under the law) used to justify the uniform policy’s passage. The high school survey done a year later was far less controversial, and gave a clearer indication that parents approved the implementation of the policy.
DePinto said the uniform policy doesn’t accomplish what the school intended, which was to provide a better environment for learning and less competitive dressing up among students. She also claims that denying students extracurricular activities is self-defeating.
“With the ever increasing evidence of violence in and around the schools, our district needs the children that voluntarily participate in extracurricular activities to be role models to other students,” she said. “This uniform policy does nothing to deter inappropriate dress.”
DePinto said kids are wearing very tight pants over larger shirts and revealing clothing, all of which has the school logo embroidered on them.
“I’ve even seen the all-black Goth rendition, complete with bright pink hair and with ‘B’,” she said. “Uniforms have changed nothing. Now, the different groups (or dare I say gangs) are color coded. Just ducky.”