Editor’s note: This is an advice column for men and women who want a real opinion. Due to the saturated singles scene in Hudson County, the Current has found a relationship guru who will help with all your dating dilemmas. Look for advice here every other week.
Dear Ms. Fix-it:
I really need help! I’m in love with two guys! One is really sweet and adorable, which I love, but he’s kind of been hurt in the past and has trouble opening up and letting people in. The other is a smart alec and totally cool, which is exactly my type, but he’s kind of reluctant to settle down and has trouble committing. I tried not to fall for them both, I really did, but they’re both really great. That’s not the worst of it though. They’re brothers! I keep thinking that if I just choose one, then there won’t be a problem, but I keep finding myself torn between the two. What should I do? – Torn Between Them
Dear Torn Between Them:
I hope you’re not entertaining some twisted fantasy in which you can have them both, because that is out of the question, believe me. That being said, I think your safest course of action is a giant step AWAY from the two of them. Besides the creepy factor, neither one really seems ready to progress with you anyway, or haven’t you noticed? One is scared and wounded, and the other is happy as a bachelor. Since you clearly want a relationship, neither fits the bill. I think you’re so intrigued by the fact that you’re attracted to brothers (in the same way people fixate on a train wreck), that you’re missing the more important fact that neither of them is particularly into you. Calm down and back off. Maybe down the road things will become clearer.
Dear Ms. Fix-it:
I haven’t been in a relationship for several years, and there isn’t much of a love life for me to speak of more than the casual date every once in a while. I prefer it that way though. I’m dedicated to my work, I love my job, and I’m the best at what I do. Most people in my life, friends and co-workers alike, keep telling me I should go out more and that I’m socially limiting myself. I see no problem with the way I live my life, because my priorities don’t revolve around finding someone to spend every Saturday night with or having someone to hold hands with everywhere I go. Sometimes though, all the things they say actually make me wonder if maybe they’re right. There are times I feel lonely, but romance isn’t necessarily a cure or a necessity, right? – Single
Dear Single:
People are always trying to make you do exactly what they’re doing. Most are so insecure that unless you conform to their way of life, they worry maybe they should conform to yours…and that throws them into a tailspin. It’s cult mentality, don’t listen. You’ve made it plain that you’re fulfilled and content in your life, so what would ever make you question that? Take a good look at the people who are telling you what to do, and ask yourself if you have any desire to be like them. I’m sure that inspection will reaffirm your lifestyle to you. And with your newfound clarity, go and tell them all to shove it!
Ms. Fix-it, a.k.a. Hilary Morris, is a writer, actress, and expert mixologist. She spends her time doling out advice to many of Hudson County’s singles when she’s slinging drinks. While she doesn’t consider herself an expert on relationships, she has survived plenty of heartbreak. Tell her your problem! If you have any questions that you would like answered by Ms. Fix-it, please submit them to current@hudsonreporter.com. Please put in the subject line “Ms. Fix-it.” The Current reserves the right to edit any letters for content or clarity.