After reading what local women had to say about the men in town, I was taken back and felt the need to defend the brotherhood.
First off, I’m sure there are bad apples in the mix and I completely understand how some women tend to lose hope in finding their “dream guy” but I think it’s safe to say the same goes for the opposite sex. To the women who know what the deal is…keep up the good work. And for the women who have made it clear that some guys are crazy… here’s what the majority of the men in Hoboken think about you.
Now let me give you a little info about me so I can safely place myself out of the “insane posse.” Better yet, so I don’t get lynched by the hundreds of scorned females that read this. Me: 33 yr. old, single, attractive, financially stable, haven’t lived with mom since I was 20, not really into the “party scene,” but social, not a pot head, respects women, knows how to treat a woman…. sounds like a great personal ad, right?? So why am I still single, you ask…because women are just as insane as the next guy.
Here’s the scoop. To better understand the female standing next to you on the PATH, you have to break down the different groups of women in this town. There are three and a half types.
First you have the young girls in their 20s just getting out of school, getting their feet wet in the big city, always out getting blitzed because they think they’re in some new post-college sorority while trying to fit in with the corporate execs at Goldman.
Second, you have the mid twentysomethings who are starting to get settled in with the big city, had a bunch of fun, and are now in search of the “alpha male” to sweep them off their feet.
And then last but not least you have the infamous late 20/early 30s…. still single or single again, clocks tickin’, walking around Washington St. with huge brick walls surrounding them getting ready to devour any male that looks at them wrong, but their reading every relationship self-help book so they can analyze every move they made in their last tragedy. Now we can’t forget that other type that walks around with the shovel on their back waiting for the next six-figure victim to fall into that web of horror, but that’s going to be left for the next issue. Ok, now’s here’s the part that might send me into witness protection… Why are you still single, darling??? To the first category – you’re just too young to figure out what you really want. You think that walking into the Madison and being out numbered by the opposite sex five to one and getting hit on by every one of them makes you the cream of the crop. Sorry for being a real killjoy, but you’re in a bar, you’re out numbered, you’re still drinking like Prohibition was coming back, and yes, you might get a little more flirtatious then usual. Guys are going to hit on you. It’s gonna, happen, ladies so don’t let it get to your head. Yes, it’s flattering, but come on, now…it’s a numbers game, so don’t let it make you untouchable.
Group number two….mid twenties….so you’re ready to meet the next Bachelor. IT’S REALITY TV!!!! There’s no such thing as the alpha male. Everyone wants the good life, the big condo on the waterfront with the BMW in the garage. Hey, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the same. But here’s a revelation…everyone has flaws, so why not accept what you have instead of thinking there’s something better waiting over the rainbow. Hey, your knight in shining armor just might be driving a Jeep.
Now this is my favorite of the three, but I have to break this one up in two separate categories: the late twenty and thirtysomethings.
Late twenties, you’ve had the fair share of heartbreaks, tired of giving yourself completely, and vow to never get hurt again, so you have this barrier up 24/7. I hate to break it to you ladies…..it happens. It happens every day. Get over it, because we’re not in high school anymore. You can’t let it get in the way of the next guy. Learn from it, smarten up, and move on.
Thirtysomethings, you think you might have found him after all. Dating is great, you live for every waking moment with your newly found love. It’s only been three weeks, so we don’t want to get married yet! What’s the rush? So what if all your friends are engaged or married with kids already? Just because they are, doesn’t make it right for you to search for a husband. So stop walking around with the list of requirements you have to have in a man because your clock is ticking. Give it a chance, get to know him, and if it seems like you’re having fun and think this is it, don’t kill it by putting a shotgun to your partner’s head. Time will always tick. It’s not the end of the world.
In closing, I hope this enlightens you ladies. The next time you pass someone who happens to be the opposite sex and he throws a smile at you, he’s not insane. He’s polite and thinks you’re cute, so smile back because he’s not your enemy.
If you’re at a bar and get hit on left and right by those “bad apples who just want to get in your pants” and you just can’t take it anymore, don’t kill it for the nice guy who just wants to say hello and buy you a drink. And finally, if you meet the man of your dreams at a later stage in your life, every experience is a new experience. Don’t dwell. It just gives you wrinkles.
Rodney King hit it on the head: Why can’t we just get along? – Tom from Hoboken