“Ladies Night,” Kool & The Gang
God forbid you crank that disco gem on a jukebox in the Garden State anymore. And while I’m normally for anything that will cut back on the public playing of Kool & The Gang (keep in mind, “Celebration” is still out there), circumstances behind this situation are anything but Kool.In his apparently finite wisdom, David R. Gillespie brought forth a complaint against the Coastline Restaurant (1240 Brace Rd., Cherry Hill), claiming it was unfair that men paid a $5 cover and full-price for drinks when women got in for free and drank at a discount. Of course, David R. Gillespie didn’t realize that the idea behind a Ladies Night was to make it more enticing for women to frequent an establishment, thereby making it more enjoyable for the men in attendance. Considering the fact that these women were facing the prospect of spending the evening with some tight-fisted loser who complained over a lousy $5, I’d say he should be grateful that the establishment went through the trouble to bring women in there for him at all.
Yet despite the charitable efforts of the Coastline, the unappreciative [expletive deleted] took his case to the New Jersey Division of Civil Rights, where just last week director J. Frank Vespa-Papaleo ruled in favor of Gillespie’s claim, stating that the commercial intent of the promotion does not override the “important social policy objective of eradicating discrimination.” Vespa-Papaleo went on to say, “The decision makes it pretty clear that this bodes trouble for bars that have Ladies Night and similar programs in New Jersey.”
Well thank you, Mr. David R. Gillespie, for bringing about this frivolous claim and ruining it for everyone else, you selfish, selfish tool. What was nothing but a marketing opportunity for bar owners has now become an issue of discrimination thanks to your trivial gripe. The only thing these small business owners were attempting to do was attract business, but now that’s been taken away. And to the director of the New Jersey Division of Civil Rights, I say you’re taking yourself a little too seriously. If it were “Presbyterian Night” or “White People Night,” then maybe you’d have an actual issue, but I don’t think you’re doing any justice to the cause with this ridiculous decision. But you got your name in the paper, and I’m sure you’re proud of that.
While the official decision remains to be drafted, I think there may be a way around it:
On Thursday, June 17, Duffy’s (239 Bloomfield St., Hoboken) will be holding its first-ever “Skirt Night.” We will be offering drink specials, including $2 domestic and $3 import draughts from 8 to 11 p.m. to anyone wearing a skirt – and we mean anyone. Minis, kilts, hulas, prom dresses, wedding dresses – whatever – we won’t discriminate against what is being worn or, more importantly, who is wearing it. Guys – be a man and put on a skirt in protest of this petty nonsense. And ladies – we certainly hope you’re there to support it too. After all, it’s your cheap drinks that were taken away.
As for David R. Gillespie, I wouldn’t recommend showing up. In fact, you might be better off going out, buying yourself a 12-pack of cheap beer, crawling into a hole and drinking it by yourself, since nobody wants your whiny ass at their party anyhow.
Chris Halleron lives in Jersey City and tends bar at Duffy’s in Hoboken. His column appears every other week in the Current. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.