I am the 24th chromosome. I am responsible for the creation of creamed corn, blue pop cycles, ginko bilba, brunch, Carrot Top commercials, oversized pretzels, unfoldable maps, Al Gore, handyman projects,The Sharper Image, hunger strikes by DJs, animal crackers, fish-shaped soaps, 99-cent stores, reversible jackets, Vince McMahon, Playbill, off-white, curling, option rights, macaroni and cheese, demo tapes, matching smoke detectors, wrist weights, learning experiences, Martin Sheen’s family, t-shirts depicting endangered species, voice-activated toilets, famous people with three names, Apache helicopters, cherry blossom festivals, orchard festivals, seafood festivals, beach volleyball, dinner theater mysteries, stackables at Staples, the semicolon, bag your own, Botox, Shannon Doherty, muscle cars, Jennifer Love Hewitt, cub scouts, Altoids, refrigerator magnets, single-use cameras, $3 billion to code the 3 billion letters in the human DNA, France, pedicures, zombie-killing video games, flamingo wallpaper, Woolite, temporary tattoos, protein shakes, floating bonds, August football, ESPN, Bob Dylan’s current mustache, post-modern anything, bagpipes, heat index, pony rides, Velcro, flea markets, reflexive irony, William Shatner playing William Shatner, correctable ribbon, multi-tasking, bring your kid to work day. – Joe Del Priore (The author is a regular Current contributor.)