The movie everyone is talking about really does not have that much to say, or offer.
"Austin Powers in Goldmember," in theaters now, may be a moneymaking blockbuster giant, but the film’s story line and characters are lackluster and predictable. If you saw the first two Austin Powers, you’ve seen enough.
In the third installation of the International Man of Mystery’s journey for chicks, twins, mojo-orgies and a groovy time, Powers (Mike Myers) has to go back in time and save his father Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) from an evil, disgruntled, totally bizarre villain who calls himself Goldmember. The psycho Dutchman earned his name after a tragic accident to his…well, you know what. Myers plays Goldmember, as well as Dr. Evil and, of course, the unlovable Fat Bastard.
To fit all the characters in the movie, the protagonists are not well developed, like Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles), Bastard and the title villain. It would have been enjoyable to follow a love-interest plot between Cleopatra and Powers, but that never happens. Instead, most of the characters jump on the scene with clichéd one-liners and cling to Powers’ charm, or lack thereof, to carry them through a scene.
The plot with Dr. Evil is also a yawner. He wants to take over the world with the help of Goldmember. He raps in jail with Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) to the tune of popular rapper Jay-Z and accepts his boring son Scott (Seth Green). The father-son duo has a communication breakthrough, but nobody cares.
Despite a $100 million budget and "A-list" celebrities throughout the movie, "Goldmember" falls flat. Bastard is somewhat funny with his vulgar Scottish colloquy and sumo-wrestling fight scene, but the movie’s ending is very, very disappointing.
A family affair like no other, it seemed like the script’s writers, which include Myers, Michael McCullers, and Robert Wagner, ran out of ideas. Not to mention Myers’ dependence on old jokes from his previous movies like "Wayne’s World," and "So I Married and Ax Murderer."
At the end of the day, Powers saves the world, but we all knew that from the beginning.
"Goldmember," directed by Jay Roach, is in virtually every theater in the country. The movie is an hour and 33 minutes and rated PG-13 for sexual language. q – E. Mulero