Last week, a few friends and I were out in the city and had a hankering for cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and verbal abuse from scantily clad barwomen. So we popped over to Hogs and Heifers (859 Washington St., Manhattan) expecting to waltz in, have a couple pops, watch a few drunk girls fall off the bar, and that’s that.
Of course we completely failed to remember the fact that it was the first night of Fleet Week and the United States Navy had spilled its seamen on the island of Manhattan, so a bar with those sorts of items on the menu is bound to attract a swarm of sailors who have had nothing but Listerine, saltpeter and a tattered Victoria’s Secret catalog to get them through the last six months at sea.
We walked in and the place was packed with USN and USMC personnel – all of them using their uniforms the way peacocks use their feathers or baboons use that red tush of theirs to attract mates. It was almost emasculating since nobody else stood a chance in there – especially me, wearing a particularly ugly green shirt and sporting a full, grizzly beard (not that I was looking for anyone, sweetie, if you’re reading this).
Having graduated from a military college, I’m well aware of the potential for violence that exists in such an environment – you have a boatload (literally) of drunk, horny guys who happen to be trained in combat and nowhere near enough women to make them all happy. So normally I would look at a scene like that and wave off like an F-15 pilot who overshot the landing strip on a carrier. But this time it was different.
I know the most of the media has already done its job of highlighting the significance of this year’s Memorial Day, but let me add my two cents – which is all I have left from my $50 after drinking with the Navy at Hogs and Heifers. For obvious reasons it means a lot to us this year as we celebrate the sacrifices of those who defend our freedom. We are a country at war and we’ve already taken considerable losses. With more losses expected to come, it’s those men and women in uniform who are getting in harm’s way to prevent them from happening, and we should be beyond grateful for their efforts.
I went to Norwich University-Military College of Vermont with the intention of becoming an officer in the U.S. military. A broken vertebrae freshman year eventually disqualified me from service, but a lot of the people I graduated with are now out there getting it done, and I envy them for being able
to do so. I used to glibly cover up my disappointment over my exclusion from the military by saying, "It was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me." But I changed that tune on September 12th of last year – when I woke up angry and wished to God that there was something I could do about what had happened the day before.
So let me take this opportunity to genuinely thank them and all those who are in our armed forces or have served in the past. To the guys that were in Hogs and Heifers last Wednesday, I’ll say what everyone else at the bar was saying to you – thanks, and be safe.
By the way, the real Memorial Day is today, Thursday, May 30. The Monday everyone had off that was spent recovering from hangovers is just an observance.
If you know how I can effectively waste $50 in the Metro area, please write to:
"Hal Wastes His Wages"
c/o The Hudson Current
1400 Washington Street
Hoboken, New Jersey 07030
Or via e-mail:
Current@hudsonreporter.com