Monday, March 11 wasn’t a day of significance for Jill Vicario. The long-time Weehawken resident wanted to treat the day like it was any other, trying hard to rid herself of reminders what took place six months prior.
“I knew what it was, but I really avoided it,” said Vicario, who lost her husband, Robert, in the Sept. 11 World Trade Center tragedy. “It was just another day. I tried my best to make it just another day. I didn’t want to be reminded. I wasn’t ready for it. It was too much too soon. I wasn’t interested in any of it. I avoided the television for two days.”
However, there were other obstacles.
“I received a ton of phone calls from family and friends to see how I was doing,” Vicario said. “But all that did was remind me more. I wish people didn’t call. It was all just another reminder. I pretty much avoided the whole thing, because it’s all still very difficult to handle.”
Robert Vicario was a construction supervisor who was sent to do work for the stock trading group Cantor Fitzgerald on the 105th floor of the World Trade Center Tower Two on Sept. 10. It was only his second day working at that site when the planes hit. His body was never recovered.
“I still can’t believe he was there that day,” Jill Vicario said. “He didn’t even work there. He didn’t belong there.”
Vicario’s wallet was found in October, but Jill was unable to receive the wallet until last month.
“I had to go to 1 Police Plaza to pick it up,” Vicario said. “It was in a plastic Ziploc bag. They told me that I had to be careful when I opened it, that I had to be in a well ventilated area. So I came home, took it on my back porch, wore rubber gloves and a mask and opened it. And it reeked of that overpowering smell. Everything in it was wet and soggy. I washed everything off and air dried it.”
Inside the wallet were Vicario’s credit cards – and the photo identification visitor’s pass he received to enter the World Trade Center.
“He had the picture taken for that ID that morning,” Jill Vicario said.
Although it has been very difficult for her, Vicario said that she tries to keep a personal agenda to remain busy every day. Raising her 10-month-old daughter, Savannah Rose, is also a Godsend.
“She definitely keeps me busy,” Vicario said. “And she’s getting to be very funny. There’s a lot of Rob in her. She looks just like him.”
Jill said that she spends a lot of time talking with her late husband.
“I talk to him all the time,” Vicario said. “It makes me feel like he’s still here. And he’s still with us.”
Vicario said that she has received a lot of help and support from family and friends.
“The neighbors have also been wonderful,” Vicario said. “The people in the community have been helpful.”
However, when it comes to receiving federal assistance, Vicario wishes that things could have gone smoothly.
“A lot of problems did arise when we tried to receive aid,” Vicario said. “It was like pulling teeth.”
Vicario said that she applied to the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) on three different occasions – and was denied any assistance each time.
“My applications were rejected,” Vicario said. “They told me that their aid was more for people who lost their homes and businesses. I didn’t understand it. FEMA was there at the [Chelsea] Piers and at Liberty State Park, saying that they wanted to help people. But my applications just kept getting rejected.”
Vicario did receive assistance from the American Red Cross and the Salvation Army, but most of that assistance came in the form of vouchers, with the vouchers then being sent to the agencies where Vicario owed money.
“But a lot of those bills were piling up,” Vicario said. “I would submit a bill to be paid and it wouldn’t get paid for weeks. Some of the companies that I owed money to said that they weren’t acknowledging vouchers. Every voucher would come back and I would then receive phone calls. Bills got backlogged for months. You’re waiting three, four weeks for a bill to get paid and you don’t know what bills are being paid and when. The whole thing was such a headache.”
Added Vicario, “I never paid a bill late in my life. But I just got overwhelmed by all of this. There were delinquency charges. I never had that before. My credit record was perfect. I just kept going back and forth, with the Red Cross and the Salvation Army.”
Vicario said that she was still waiting for approval for a $300 voucher to a credit card company for a bill she incurred in November.
“The whole bill paying thing has become a fiasco,” Vicario said. “I’m finally feeling like I’m starting to straighten things out. I’m just beginning to find out how tough things were. I’m getting by, but it’s been tougher than expected.”
Always on her mind
Although it has been six months since the tragedy took place, Vicario said that the pain never fully goes away.
“I think about my husband every day,” Jill Vicario said. “As long as I keep busy, I’m okay. But during the course of the day, I do get upset. I just try to keep doing my daily routines.”
Vicario said that she looks over to where the Twin Towers once stood on a regular basis.
“I look at the spot where they were all the time,” Vicario said. “I stand there and look in a very sad way.”
But she will never visit Ground Zero.
“No way,” Vicario said. “I’m not going over there. I have no interest.”
She also had no interest in the television documentary which aired last Sunday evening on CBS.
“I wasn’t interested in it,” Vicario said. “I think it would have stirred up a whole different set of emotions. I’m just not ready yet. It’s too soon.”