Oscar time is again upon us. And for those of us who, despite its superficial glitz and sometimes stomach-churning glamour, remain captivated by the entertainment industry, the Academy Awards is our March Madness. And, like basketball fans, we make a major event of it. Friends gather over chips and dip, six packs of beer and sometimes even a bottle of Chardonnay, which, contrary to popular belief, complements potato chips quite nicely. We occasionally become enraged and scream at our TVs, “No! Not Gwenyth Paltrow! She sucks!” There are even friendly betting pools. Unfortunately, like basketball fans, we inevitably become frustrated when we realize that, as spectators, we are powerless over who will finally prevail. Despite the fact that other than the 6,000 members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, we are all merely impotent observers, it’s still fun to make predictions. So, I invited my fellow staff writer David Danzig and my editor Caren Lissner to join me in speculating who will be go home with the coveted statuette on March 26. Here are some of our predictions for the 72nd annual Academy Awards. – JoAnne Steglitz David’s picks There is no suspense in this year’s best picture category. Like Michael Jordan on a fade-away jumper, American Beauty is a sure thing. Remember, though, that there is a giant disconnect between what wins and what should win. This is, after all, the same group of Hollywood hipsters who drooled all over Titanic and gave L.A. Confidential a pass. Being John Malkovich, a movie that was shockingly absent from the list of best picture nominees, deserves the award for its quirky inventiveness and pure entertainment value. I like Denzel Washington in Hurricane for best actor and Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry for best actress. Each of them did 101 things beautifully. What I liked most was their faces. They were able to communicate so much emotion through a crinkled brow or a trembling lip. Tight shots of each of them are still etched in my mind’s eye. Skipping down to best supporting actor and actress categories, if Jude Law and Angelina Jolie are not selected for their performances in The Talented Mr. Ripley and Girl Interrupted, I hope the Wu-Tan Clan rushes the stage as they have been known to do during Grammy presentations. Once Law was killed off in Ripley, the picture stumbled from the loss of his pan-sexual energy. Like Law, Jolie provided the punch in Girl Interrupted. When she was on camera, it was a different movie – even one worth watching. JoAnne’s picks When I heard that Being John Malkovich wasn’t nominated for the best picture award, I made a tight fist and rubbed my eyes cartoon character style. I thought, I must be dreaming. Other than maybe Galaxy Quest – which, despite Tim Allen, is actually quite good – Being John Malkovich is clearly the most original and entertaining film of the year. How could it not receive the academy’s highest accolade, a nomination for best picture? All that I can do is boycott the show. Unfortunately, I know that come Sunday, March 26, at about 3 p.m., I’ll be curious what ridiculously revealing ensemble Courtney Love decided to wear, so I’ll probably flip on Joan Rivers’ annual red carpet pre show coverage. And then I’ll see Sigourney Weaver adorned in some hideous dress and I’ll need to get a better look, so I’ll probably flip over to ABC, which will broadcast the awards ceremony this year. And then Billy Crystal will probably say something funny and I’ll probably giggle. And then Angelina Jolie will probably win best supporting actress for her scene-stealing performance in the mediocre movie Girl Interrupted, and I’ll be momentarily appeased. And then Tom Cruise will probably win best supporting actor for his riveting performance in Magnolia and I will be even more pleased. And before I know it, it will be 9 o’clock and I’ll probably realize that Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? has been trumped by the Oscars, so I’ll watch some more. And then Being John Malkovich will probably win best original screenplay, and the audience – which is primarily made up of industry folk who undoubtedly know that it’s the best film of the year – will probably burst into an ardent ovation, and, for another brief moment, I will probably feel satisfied, so I’ll watch the rest of the awards where I’ll probably witness American Beauty (which was a fine film) win best picture; Denzel Washington (who is a fine performer) win best actor; Hilary Swank (who deserves the award) win best actress; and I will go to sleep feeling mollified because I’ll finally remember that the Academy Awards don’t really mean anything anyway. Caren’s pick My prognostic abilities for the Oscars are about as good as my prognostic abilities for political races. I’m about 3-59 in both, with the three in politics coming from the victories of three Old Bridge Township Board of Education candidates in 1989. So I guess I’ll just talk about whom I want to win, not whom I think will win. The latter wouldn’t mean much. I liked Magnolia, so I think it should win everything, even in categories for which it wasn’t nominated. All of the songs in Magnolia should win “Best Song.” One of them was nominated, but the others, penned and performed by Aimee Mann, are far better than most movie songs. If Magnolia can’t win the song category, then I guess I’ll go with “South Park.” It should win a special “Better than Expected” award, too. Magnolia is also nominated in the “Best Screenplay” category and in “Best Supporting Actor” for Tom Cruise. As far as Cruise goes, I think any actor would have done well in the harsh and macho Frank T.J. Mackey role. It was the writing that made it special. In fact, it was the writing that made all of the characters special. So Magnolia should win “Best Screenplay.” That reminds me. When all of these actors, producers and directors are accepting their awards Sunday, remember that it’s really the writers that made their movies what they are. Great camerawork with lousy writing will result in a lousy movie. Great acting with lousy lines will also make for a lousy movie. But great writing will make any movie soar. So don’t forget who’s number one. The writers. Writers. W-R-I-T-E-R-S. Got it?
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