Ya’ know that old trees just grow stronger

And old rivers grow wilder ev’ry day

Old people just grow lonesome

Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello”

So if you’re walking down the street sometime

And spot some hollow ancient eyes

Please don’t just pass ’em by and stare

As if you didn’t care, say, ”Hello in there, hello”

–“Hello in There” by John Prine

 

The haunting lyrics by John Prine, cited above, and sung movingly by Bette Midler could be a sad anthem for the desolate landscape that is old age in America.

But the more you witness senior programs in Hudson County, the more convinced you become that the twilight years have their own special sheen.

Just ask Thomas Foley, who runs the Hoboken Senior Citizen Program. “I love this job,” says Tom, who has held various city gigs for 25 years. “I wasn’t really settled in any other job.”

At noon on a hot, late-summer day, clients are starting to gather at the senior center at 124 Grand. The reason? Bingo starts at 1 p.m. sharp.

You can be as young as 50 to participate in the activities, but you have to be at least 60 to take advantage of the services. The center offers yoga, tai chi, crocheting social, monthly trips, and holiday theme parties, but nothing is more popular than bingo. You can bag up to $100 if you win “the whole board,” but you get the feeling that collegiality is more important than cash.

Friends Cathy DeMatteo, 83, and Lillian Schroeder, 74, have been coming for about seven years. They met at their senior housing building at 514 Madison. Cathy was born in Hoboken. Lillian is originally from North Bergen.

“I don’t want to stay in the house alone,” Lillian says. Adds Cathy, “We socialize here and have lunch every day.” They don’t do any of the other activities. But they do enjoy senior trips to the Newport Mall. (No mall-walking for these ladies. They like to shop and go to the food court.) They also like playing the slots at the senior trips to the Sands Casino in Bethlehem, PA.

In fact, gambling has played a part in both their pasts. In Atlantic City, back in the day, Cathy won $5,000, and Lillian won $3,750. She also took home some big bucks in Vegas. They both plow their current earnings back into the casino. “I keep the money for next time,” Cathy says.

They also like to go to Doolan’s Shore Club in Spring Lake for a senior sit-down lunch with entertainment and an open bar.

Hoboken is Where the Heart Is

“Hoboken has changed so much,” Cathy says. “There have been good times and bad times. Years ago, there were baby carriages on Washington Street. It was a friendly town. I knew nine out of 10 people. Now everyone’s a stranger up there. The small houses are gone, and there are new condos.”

She remarks that nowadays, “fellas and girls go to bars,” which they didn’t do so much back in the day, she says. “You could find anything you wanted in Hoboken: bakers, men’s stores, dress shops, shoe stores, a German pork store, and German bakeries.

“The town is beautiful,” she continues. “Uptown you have the Shipyard and you can walk along the waterfront.” Neither Cathy nor Lillian has a dog. “We walk ourselves,” Lillian says, noting that the two enjoyed a spaghetti dinner on Sinatra Drive.

And both women like to eat at Margherita’s on Eighth and Washington.

Another thing these two do together is attend Weight Watchers meetings at the Elks Club on Saturday mornings. “It’s fun, we lose weight, and you can eat anything you want,” Lillian says. “And it works,” Cathy adds.

Services Rendered

I wander around the large, sunny rec room. Blue paper lanterns hang from the ceiling, and a sense of anticipation fills the space.

The bingo players ask questions about the magazine as photographer Craig Wallace Dale captures the scene.

One woman pulls on my sleeve and asks if I can test her blood pressure. I can’t, but Cathy and Lillian give a nod to the “people in the office. They’re very helpful,” Cathy says. Lillian cites transportation to and from doctors’ offices as a major benefit.

The program offers lots of services that could help with blood-pressure testing and many other things, including certified home health aides, information and assistance, benefit screening, extended assessment, care management, transportation, language translation and interpretation, legal assistance, adult protective services, oral health, information education, socialization and recreation, nutrition education, congregate meals, Meals on Wheels, and a medical equipment loan program.

Cathy and Lillian say they were tapped by Tom to be interviewed for this story because they’re “talkers.” Remarking on the many women on hand, they note that women usually outlive their spouses. “We kill them,” Cathy jokes. They recall a 101-year-old woman who just recently died. “She came here quite often,” Cathy says, “three times a week.” Lillian says, “She was a perfect lady, a Spanish lady.” 

Bingo!

Cathy and Lillian head for their usual spot, up front, to the right of the caller. “Bingo keeps the mind going,” Lillian says. “You have to concentrate with the numbers and everything. It keeps you from becoming feeble-minded.”

While the players take their seats, Tom is in the kitchen preparing food for a barbecue the following day.

“This job is like being with your parents and your aunts and uncles,” he says. “It’s fun to be with them and provide them the services they need.” Tom’s wife teaches pre-K at a Catholic school. Tom laughs. “We both come home with the same stories every day,” he says.

Before the game starts, Lillian says, “We’re fixtures.”

“We take care of one another,” Cathy says. “We look after each other; that’s what friendship is all about.”—Kate Rounds