It may be the worst-kept secret of parenting: Kids would rather get advice from the guy at Gravity Vault than from you. Enter True Mentors, a Hoboken nonprofit that provides kids with the perfect shoulder to lean on—not Mom and not Tom at GameStop.

The program started about six years ago when a volunteer at the Jubilee Center noticed a need for role models.

“Every child deserves someone to be there and support them to reach their goals,” says True Mentors Program Director Rebecca Denaro. “Research shows that kids need multiple relationships outside family to thrive and figure out their passions. Our mission is to unearth the excellence of the youth of Hoboken to find their potential through supportive relationships.”

Each month, the program serves about 80 kids, ages 7 to 17. The mentors are volunteers.

“Mentors come from different walks of life, with a passion to give back,” Denaro says.

The matching process is crucial. Mentors and mentees are interviewed. “We gather information about what their interests and passions are,” Denaro says. “We look at common interests, along with other things such as availability, to get the right mentor and mentee.”

Denaro always wanted to work in youth development. She says that though you don’t always see the impact right away, the successes are fulfilling, everything from a young kid getting to school on time to an older one finding a great job after an internship.

The Mentee

Tiara Stevens is a Hoboken High graduate who started at Rutgers this fall. She heard about True Mentors when its internship program was announced over the loudspeaker at school.

The program connects mentors with companies that offer internships. Tiara was assigned to an e-commerce startup called Stantt, based in New York City. The company crafts men’s shirts one at a time, with a new business model based on data and technology. A whopping 75 sizes are designed for the “perfect fit” 98 percent of the time instead of the traditional 15 percent.

Tiara’s job was to do a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis of the competition.

Stephanie Stadig, 28, turned out to be Tiara’s perfect match. “We’re very similar in how we do things,” Tiara says. “She works at Goldman Sachs five minutes away.” Stephanie is on the team that writes quarterly reports for investors. She was well-positioned to advise Tiara on her internship project. “We’d go to her office and work on the SWOT,” Tiara says.

They also talked about college and career goals. The True Mentors organization was a role model for Tiara’s chosen major: nonprofit administration. She thought at one point that she might be interested in journalism, but after taking a journalism program at NYU she thought maybe not.

Though Tiara has aged out of the program, she wants to stay connected to Stephanie. “We’ve decided to continue with the mentorship,” she says. “I want to try to go home once a month to see my family and meet with Stephanie. We talk a lot; we text and call.”

Everyone involved in the program believes that family is important. But, Tiara says, “With Stephanie I can talk about anything. She totally understands. I talk to her about things I wouldn’t normally talk about with my mom. She wouldn’t understand SWOT analysis, startups, and men’s shirts. Stephanie understood the process.”

But it wasn’t all work. “We have similar interests,” Tiara says. “We loved to go to the movies and shop.” They’d go to the Newport Mall and to the Crepe Guru in Hoboken.

“We created a friendship and bond,” Tiara says. “She was there to help me.”

The Mentor

“I was looking for an opportunity in the community to work with local youth,” Stephanie says. “I really like kids. They keep you on your feet. They’re fun and sharp and very active.” She graduated from Fairfield University, a Jesuit school, where she got a holistic education with a strong service component.

“It’s worthwhile to have someone to bounce ideas off of,” she says, noting that in Hoboken some parents have not gone to college or are new to the States. “I’m not that long out of college,” she says, “and I could help Tiara apply to x-y-z school, help she might not get from a guidance counselor or parent.”

She says she was a sounding board for Tiara. “We’d talk through different things, and she was very eager to meet and do stuff with me. We’d get our nails done and go for walks.”

She was drawn to True Mentors because, given her busy work routine, she and Tiara could create their own schedule.

She’s a fan of the internship program because it offers hands-on experience, and she is well-matched to offer help and advice. “I’m familiar with the corporate world,” she says. “Tiara was doing a competitive analysis that no high schooler would be exposed to. It gave her a good edge and a good understanding of the business side of things.”

True Mentors, she says, “provides children with programs for good nutrition, and skills, such as managing finances and public speaking.”

Two-Way Street

Mentors also benefit from the program. “It helps ground you for work,” Stephanie says. “A lot of days you’re so busy, it’s nice to take time and unwind and talk to someone who is going through things, someone you can help. It’s nice to see.”

True Mentors paves the way. “They make volunteering as easy as it can be,” she says. “It’s looking to grow. More people should join.”

A sentiment Executive Director Katy Eades would endorse. “It’s pretty awesome to see kids articulate what their strengths are,” she says. “When their communication skills improve or they get better at public speaking, it’s pretty cool.”

She wants kids to know that “if you want to do something, there are people who want to support you in your journey.”—Kate Rounds