Susanna’s Bridal & Evening Boutique

301 Monroe St.

(201) 420-0355

susannasbridal.com

 

Not every genius is scrawling equations on a blackboard. At least one is creating magic on Monroe Street in Hoboken. 

The minute you lay eyes on her, you’re aware of her presence. She occupies. I’m sitting on the stoop across from her tiny shop. A white van is parked in front. The only part of her visible under the van are her feet, straining against a teeny pair of flats. She’s instructing deliverymen to remove her couch. Amazon delivered the wrong one.

On this beautiful September afternoon, chaos is just barely held at bay. There’s the couch, there are clients, and there’s me, threatening to bring her comfortable chaos into terra incognita. She tries to shoo me away, pleading alterations-overload.

Undeterred, I pull up a chair and watch her work.

Clothes Make the Woman

Susanna comes to Hoboken by way of Armenia, Russia, and France. She has a comforting Russian accent but is easily understood. An incongruous combo of solid Soviet stock and French haute couture, she has strong hands—she could be sheetrocking as well as sewing—her features are bold, her body robust but swathed in the most feminine handmade dresses. Knowing and intuitive, Susanna sizes you up right away. Still, she can’t fathom that there’s a woman on this planet—me—who doesn’t own or wear a dress. Mon Dieu!

Her first client, Katie, has brought in a number of garments that need to be altered. Susanna is the master of the sleight-of-hand, making her clients think that they’re in control.

Her adventurous English is peppered with American idioms and slang. “OK, baby, I understand.” She’s also tech savvy. “Google my reviews on Yelp!”

“Oh my God, really nice, cute,” she says to Katie, whom she persists in calling Kelly, never mind that two out of three people in the room are named Kate.

Kelly/Katie starts with a long skirt and strapped top. “Baby, what you doing. That no question, no problem, one inch. You look OK? A little less. I want you to tell me.” They wrangle a bit over how much to hem. “Sometime you don’t listen to me. Good girl. When you need, ASAP I know.”

Now it’s time for a back-and-forth about the date and price. “OK, baby, Saturday at 7, but how much I cannot tell you.” Prices for each alteration range from $5 to $20. She finally decides on $40 for the lot. “You pay now or later. Cash or credit. Up to you.”

Here Comes the Bride!

A bride-to-be and her sister-in-law touch down from Wayne, NJ. “Congratulations! Health, happiness, children, and money!” Susanna yells as the two, looking a little bewildered, venture, unsuspecting, into Susanna’s world. 

She shows them a $4,000 gown on a mannequin. But this bride knows exactly what she wants:  a ball gown with a puffy satin bottom, cap sleeves, and a crystal-beaded bodice.

“No problem! Not any dress I couldn’t make! Don’t worry!”

“You have a cute body!” Susanna observes, lifting her own breasts to demonstrate that some women aren’t burly enough to hold up a strapless dress.

They get the picture.

“You want back opened or closed?”

The bride doesn’t care but insists that the waist be at the waist, not below. Susanna agrees, encircling the woman’s waist with her muscular hands, one finger sporting a huge amber ring.

Then comes a long discussion of crystal. Thinking stemware and chandeliers, I had to Google it to get my bearings: We’re in the realm of beaded ornaments that decorate the bodice. Susanna explains that the crystals have to be bought separately.

Turns out that the sister-in-law’s dress has the exact right bottom, so all Susanna has to do is create the top. The sister-in-law goes to the car to retrieve it, returning in a huge cloud of puffy satin; you can hardly see her face.

Will the top look like it’s connected to the bottom? But of course. “Don’t be scared. I know what I’m doing. In 40 years I’ve never had an unhappy customer.”

A few days later, photographer Alyssa Bredin and I return for the photo shoot. This time, Susana’s hair is quaffed, makeup applied, black heels in place of flats, and yet another handmade dress. She disappears for a minute into the changing room. “Inside out,” she explains.

Once Alyssa starts shooting, Susanna’s thrilled, shooting pictures of the pictures with her smartphone.

Alyssa discloses that she’s getting married soon. “Baby, I make dress for you.”

Alas, the dress is already bought. “Wait a minute, find size,” Susanna says, grabbing a cocktail dress from the rack and flinging the hanger on the floor. Alyssa tries it on. Perfect. It’s a gift.

“I work hard to make my customers happy,” Susanna says. “I give them everything what they want.”—07030