Hudson Reporter Archive

Say goodbye to the carpetbagger from the woods of New England

Dear Editor:
Mr. Jamie Cryan, Chairman of the Hoboken Democratic Committee, was dead on target when he said last week “the one good thing about the day was the parade, and they got rid of that.”I’d like to ask Chief Falco to provide statistics involving the criminality of the parade in past years. This should be interesting.
The fact is the parade lessened the impact of the hooligans. I asked several of them a few years ago what the plan was. Their response was, “whatever you do, don’t go to the parade.” Why? “Because you won’t be able to get into the bars cause the lines would be too long.”
We have become a town without pity. It’s like we don’t even have a soul anymore. But I have some great news fellow Hobokenites. I am changing my name to “None of the Above.” The wife doesn’t like it because she’ll be known as “Mrs. None of the Above,” but that’s too bad, Let me explain.
In November, 2013, we get the opportunity to vote for a new mayor. If after scoping the list of candidates and you don’t like what you see, just hit the button that says “None of the Above.”
There’s two things you can be sure of. One is that we’ll get the parade back. That is if they’ll ever come back! Eliminating St. Patrick and replacing him with Leprechauns can’t be a good thing. It’s downright sacrilegious and troublesome.
The second thing you can be sure of by hitting the “None of the Above” lever will be the replacement of the most reprehensible holiday season decorations that I have ever seen anywhere on this planet! Most people think they’re little plastic gaudy snowflakes made to look like non-denominational politically correct ornaments.
My friend informed me that they’re actually “Stars of David” in disguise. I told him that was impossible because David was a great king and those snowflakes couldn’t even come close to doing him justice!

Yours Truly,
“None of the Above”

Exit mobile version