NEW JERSEY — We’re back with another recap of the ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ and their perenially half-naked husbands. We prefer to focus on the local angle, our Hoboken residents on the show – Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo, and roommate Greg Bennett.
In the latest episode, the group’s trip through Napa Valley is winding down. They tour a few wineries, and of course, the men and women of Jersey show typical class. Entering one winery, the group sees a statue that the group likens, at different times, to both male reproductive organs and “my wife.” Joe Gorga decides to climb on the sculpture. Because, you know, art isn’t expensive or anything like that.
Chris Laurita, who organized the trip as a business trip because he and the Manzo boys are in the beverage business now, expresses concern that his guests are going to cause problems. Here’s a tip, Chris: DON’T INVITE A DOZEN GUESTS ON YOUR BUSINESS TRIP, particularly those with potty mouths. They seem to have to insert sex into every conversation. (For example, when they passed cows on the last leg of the trip, someone asked if cows have sex. No, they don’t. Haven’t you ever seen a cow morph into two calves? You haven’t? They’re like planaria, you know.)
The group has a nice dinner at a winery and Joe Giudice takes a private call. He says it’s a business call. In a low voice, he says, “Here comes my b—- wife. She is such a [rude term deleted].” Teresa shows up and he tells her it’s a business associate who only speaks Italian, and he starts saying stuff in Italian like “Pete will pick it up.” On-line sources have hinted that maybe he was really speaking to a woman. However, this would suggest that some woman is hard up enough to be with a guy who is a) Married with four kids (three maybe, but four?) b) dealing with legal issues, or at least, has dealt with them c) icky.
Then Teresa tries to get Joe to have sex with her among the plant life, but he isn’t interested. Joe Gorga says something like, “He doesn’t even want her in the bedroom. Why would he want her on gravel?” Clever.
At the end of their dinner, Teresa makes a toast. She thanks Chris for the trip, says it was great to spend time with her brother and sister-in-law, and wishes Caroline a happy 50th birthday. Seems to us that she was trying to be cordial and especially mention her brother and sis-in-law because they’re trying to repair their problems. But Caroline refuses to raise her glass, calling the toast “mean.” She believes Teresa deliberately left people out. Come on, it probably wasn’t meant that way. Lighten up, Big Red. At least Teresa didn’t flip this table. Vito wouldn’t have been the only one with wine all over his shirt.
As usual, Greg, who isn’t related to either family but thinks he is, sticks his nose in and makes a comment like, “How do you leave out your cousin who’s sitting right next to you?” He drinks too much of the Manzo Kool-Aid, or maybe too much Big Red wine. Like Jacqueline, he tries too hard to be accepted by the fam. Maybe he needs a new nickname – Greg the Egger On.
Anyway, those are the highlights, or lowlights. For recaps of prior episodes, see links below. Come back to hudsonreporter.com next week for new recaps!