When I purchased my condo I bought a yellow tub with dark, oval spots on the bottom that were supposed to prevent slipping. Over the course of the next five plus years, I inadvertently erased much of the darkness by constant scrubbing. One day I realized a visitor would mistake the spots for accumulated dirt. Truthfully, I don’t have many visitors, but the possibility existed.
So I did the sensible thing. I went to Home Depot and bought some paint. I would have preferred yellow, matching the surrounding tile, but all they had was white. I’ve never understood how people find colored paint, unless there’s a special outlet only professionals are aware of. I bought indoor, glossy premium paint. It says right on the can that this paint is “perfect for high traffic areas such as kitchen, bath and child’s room. It is highly washable, stain resistant, easily cleaned with common non-abrasive mild household detergents.”
I got myself a brush, a ruler to stir it, and laid down newspaper to keep the floor spotless. I set to work and within 20 minutes I had painted my tub white. I knew it would need a second coat, but that could wait for the next day. I’m a busy guy with a full social schedule.
The following morning I hopped in the shower. At the point where I wash my leg, I lifted my foot and reached down, only to see the paint vanished where I had stood. The same thing happened with my other foot. I now had yellow footprints in my white tub.
After I dried off and had breakfast, I decided to forget the whole idea and scrub all the paint off with a soap pad. Several minutes of scrubbing like crazy yielded no results. How could the paint come off so easily under my foot and not budge with intense scrubbing? I thought a moment before moving to plan C — applying a second coat. I am now committed to creating a white tub. I don’t care how long it takes, how many coats. Right now there is paint on the tiles, the caulk, the outside of the tub and my rug. It looks like a swan threw up in my bathroom.
There’s a different problem in my kitchen, where black stains have carpet bombed my linoleum. I swear I’ve never spilled an ounce of food, but I guess almost six years of not mopping has its downside. Rather than pay for new linoleum, I decided to paint over the spots. I would have a pristine white kitchen floor, which would drive up the value of my condo, right? I have never read or heard anywhere a rule stating you can’t paint linoleum. I am going to start tomorrow, as soon as I finish adding another coat to the tub.
The important point to remember is I avoided returning $26 worth of paint to Home Depot and looking like an idiot. Any idiocy remains within these walls. And one could do worse than spend a day sniffing turpentine. – Joe Del Priore