Dear Editor:
Hoboken is special. It’s true. Consider the “special options” we residents have for parking, driving and walking here. It’s like nowhere else. Here are just a few examples:
You can park with relative impunity:
1. In the “no parking” yellow zone at most corners, sometimes in a crosswalk.
2. Closer than 10 feet to nearly any fire hydrant in town.
3. Partway in reserved handicapped spots and driveways (sometimes totally).
4. Straddling two metered spaces.
5. Next to any car already legally parked.
6. Next to any empty parking spaces. This option is good if you’re really special.
You can drive with nearly complete impunity:
1. Past stop signs and stop lines, before stopping. Helps you see on-going cars sooner.
2. Faster than 25 mph whenever you find a traffic-free street, such as Sinatra Drive.
3. When you feel like driving aggressively.
4. When disregarding pedestrians in crosswalks.
5. While talking on you cell phone.
You can walk without looking:
1. Across any street at any point at any time of day.
2. Into the street from between parked cars without warning.
3. In front of any car inching into an intersection when the driver is looking away.
4. Without regard to traffic or pedestrian-crossing signals.
5. Abruptly into a crosswalk without regard for to traffic.
6. When you feel like walking aggressively.
7. Into traffic while in an I-pod or cell-phone-induced coma.
These everyday exemptions from annoying pedestrians and motor vehicle regulations that apply elsewhere in New Jersey make life on the street very exciting and “special” here. Surviving tension and near-death experiences daily add to the “special” feeling. Right?
Hobo Ken