Hudson Reporter Archive

The Sandpaper Revolution

We’re worn down. We’ve been grated upon, rubbed raw and we’re irritated – chafed by the calloused hands of the powers that be. But we’re not looking to hang anyone from piano wire, overrun the Bastille or dump a boatload of tea in the harbor. We just don’t want to get screwed over anymore, and in fairness I don’t consider that too much to ask.
There is a lot of talk about a coming populist revolution in this country, but that makes it sound a hell of a lot more radical than whatever Joe Sixpack on Main Street really has in mind. I’d be willing to bet a majority of Americans are relatively content with the whole life and liberty aspect of things, so to bandy about a term like revolution seems a bit exaggerated, if not alarmist. The pursuit of happiness, however, is an area that has been encroached upon considerably as of late, by and large by the ineptitude and avarice of others. In a nation where “Don’t tread on me” remains a poignant rallying cry, the mounting evidence of wingtip footprints on our backsides has a few people rattling their tails.
Personally I’ve never been opposed to other people making money. I’ve never begrudged my neighbor with the shiny new car or the big house on the hill because I had faith that in America and within the systems we have in place, I could someday have a fancy car or house for my own if that’s what is important to me. But when it turns out that my neighbors made bad judgments that create a situation where I now have to take money out of my pocket to subsidize their amenities – thus putting my ambitions, a.k.a. my pursuit of happiness, on hold – I would be reasonable in my discontent.
Nevertheless, we are where we are. So to avoid cutting off the nose to spite the face, we need to pull together in an extraordinary sense of cooperation. Fine. But once again the “average American” is getting the sense that they’re getting hosed in the deal. All this knee-jerk funneling of money seems a bit fishy to even the most trusting citizens, let alone the Limbaugh listeners and Fox News junkies. And they’re right in their concern, as we in this great nation have a history of screwing each other over in a time of crisis –from Carpetbaggers during Reconstruction to war profiteers to the scam-artists of Hurricane Katrina.
Take a look at Hoboken, N.J., the town I call home. Hoboken is hardly Anytown, USA as its Main Street is within a stone’s throw of Wall Street, not that we’ve actually thrown any stones (yet…).
While the rest of the world feels the ripple effect, Hoboken gets the direct splash from whatever falls across the river, and its residents – from the broker to the builder to the bartender – are all familiar with what trickles down as a result. Meanwhile the city itself is a mother lode of potential, strip-mined by robber barons and bumbling, niggling leadership. Hoboken’s wide eyed development and shortsighted administration could make it a shining example of unsustainable growth, with budget shortfalls resulting in a massive tax increase and fee hikes on pretty much everything, leaving its citizenry with the sneaking suspicion that the local government is proactively going out of its way to penalize them for even attempting to make a living here.
Not surprisingly, the mayoral seat is now up for grabs, along with council-at-large positions. Thus I’m sure a lot of time and effort is going into finding out what Hobokenites really want from their local government. My message is this: stop screwing us over.
It’s just that simple. Whomever it is that occupies the seat of power in the wake of this election, all I ask is that you be a bit gentler towards your constituency. Make this city viable once again. Make it a pleasure to live here rather than a burden. Make Hoboken user friendly rather than a bloated, bureaucratic laughingstock. And above all, act within the interest of the city you claim to serve. Because in these gritty times, quite frankly, we’re tired of being rubbed the wrong way.

Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.

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