Hudson Reporter Archive

New book for Hobokenite, Stern regular Artie Lange Lange reveals personal stories in ‘Too Fat to Fish’

For those who know Artie Lange from the hugely popular Howard Stern radio show, one might think that his new book “Too Fat to Fish” is likely a series of anecdotes leading up to a joke payoff.
Yet while the book is hilariously funny in parts, it is also a painfully honest portrait of a man trying to come to terms with the loss of his father and the struggle to shape a life that one can be proud of.
The book, which was co-written by Anthony Bozza and published by Spiegel & Grau, an imprint of Random House, describes the early years of the comedian’s life from the open mic nights to his rise to fame amid the backdrop of his addictions.

The early years

In the series of recollections that Lange presents, one of the stabilizing factors in his life is his love for his family and the love they have for him. Lange describes his childhood in Union, N.J. as not wealthy by today’s standards, but rich in the joys of family.
Lange’s father, a character who set his own standards, concocted a meeting with Frankie Valli by having Artie – then a toddler – crawl in to meet him:
“As someone who has become a bit of a celebrity, if this were to happen to me, I would have called the FBI. But there was Frankie Valli, in his room, in a robe shaving, when a toddler crawled in unannounced. And then the kid’s parents show up? I’m much too suspicious – that would be too much for me. But this was a different time and my father had that crazy Newark mentality that Frankie definitely recognized and I’m sure could relate to.”
Lange says that Valli was incredibly gracious and invited the whole family to see the show and then they spent the rest of the week with the singer. Lange still has a picture from that week which has particular poignancy since his father died:
“I’ve stared at this picture so much over the years, because it shows my father in his heyday… It’s my father and it’s Frankie Valli, a New Jersey hero who was to my father what Bruce Springsteen is to me. I’m there with my hero, meeting his hero.”
The picture has particular significance for Lange, because when he was only 18, his father fell from a roof, an accident he never recovered from. While he has spoken about the incident on the Stern show, where the show leaves off, the book picks up. In the chapter titled “Mr. October,” Lange delves into a strong, funny man he knew and the incredibly painful details of the four and a half years with his father as quadriplegic.
“What happened to my father is nothing you can prepare for and nothing you can predict, but as life-changing and devastating as it was to all of us, it never robbed us of our memories.”

A serendipitous meeting

Lange gives sketches of many well-known comedians he has worked with through the years such as Norm MacDonald, who is credited for getting Lange on the Stern show via a guest appearance.
Lange first worked with MacDonald on the movie “Dirty Work,” which was written by Frank Sebastiano. In addition to MacDonald, Chris Farley, Chevy Chase, and Don Rickles were also in the film. Before they agreed to use Lange in the film, he had to swear that he was clean from cocaine.
“I was nervous as hell when I got out to L.A. because the last time I’d been there, aside from my court appearance, I’d been arrested, high out of my mind, and throwing produce at my agents and producers at a supermarket,” writes Lange.

While the book is hilariously funny in parts, it is also a painfully honest portrait.

After a great audition, MacDonald takes Lange out to play pool to see if Lange is really clean. Lange recalls drinking too much and waking up the next morning wondering if he messed up a great opportunity. Shortly after, he gets a call telling him he got the part. On the first day of the shoot, MacDonald tells Lange that he heard him trying to score some coke when they were playing pool:
“Look, dude,” MacDonald said. “I don’t judge anyone. You’re funny. We need you and I figure we can keep you in line. I’d never fire you for that… But you have to know that I know. You didn’t get one past me at all, okay?”
Lange, ever humble about who he owes in the business, credits MacDonald for the movie and for the spot on the Stern show.
“Thank God Norm is who he is. I owe that man so much. He was so understanding at a time when so many others would have been judgmental hypocrites… Everything I have done in my career following ‘MADtv’ I owe to Norm MacDonald,” he recalls.

A helping hand

Much in the way that he speaks freely on the Stern show, Lange doesn’t shy away from the messier parts of his life, including his bouts in rehab and the effects that his drug use had on his health and his career.
During the filming of “Beer League,” Lange admits that he worked to get himself clean again – this time from heroin.
“Beer League is something I’ll always be proud of. I might have taken myself to the edge and almost lost it all, but in the ninth inning, I pulled it out. I couldn’t have done it alone and what I learned most of all was that I’m surrounded by people who care about me.”
Lange is able to return the helping hand shown to him throughout his career by giving back to U.S. soldiers. Last summer, Lange and several comedians did a comedy tour called “Operation Mirth” for the troops in Afghanistan.
He describes the USO tour as a career highlight he is most proud of:
“My grandfather was a real war hero and obviously I’m no hero… I’m just glad that I possess a skill that enabled me to fulfill my dream. Despite a life of bad decisions that almost made it impossible, I ended up being asked to head up another tour almost the moment I touched down back home.”
In the last chapter, Lange admits to having another drug-related problem as he was finishing the book. He said that people will frequently point out to him that it’s a good thing he is in a business that understands like they did with Robert Downey Jr. But Lange reminds readers that “yes, [Downey] had a tremendous problem with drugs, but he’s also got tremendous acting talent.”
Lange sums up the book by telling readers if they like the book, to tell their friends to buy it, “Because lately I’m starting to think that on the Show Business Drug Addict Forgiveness Meter, I’m inching closer to Jeff Conaway than Robert Downey Jr. each and every day.”
“Too Fat to Fish” is available at Amazon and at Barnes & Noble.

Exit mobile version