Scores of people meet their spouses through on-line personal ads these days, but back in 1997, internet access wasn’t as prevalent, and personal ads had a dubious reputation.
That was the year that Paul Cohen, who is now in his 60s, placed an ad in the personals section of the Reporter newspapers. He had been divorced for 22 years and had just moved to Jersey City.
Back then, some people found it strange to meet a spouse through an ad in the paper, but Cohen did not.
“Everybody is in their own their own little box,” Cohen said last week, “and if you’re not into the bar scene, how else can you meet people? It was just a way to meet people without seeing them [first], and that made it interesting.”
Cohen’s ad read: “Divorced white Jewish male, 50ish (looks/acts much younger). Sensitive, open, honest, intelligent, funny, mellow, romantic, happy, fit, and can cook.”
He said he had first run personal ads in free newspapers in New York, with “unique results.”
Cohen said that at that time he received responses from “the whole gamut,” from a district attorney to women who were jobless.
However, the Reporter ad proved far more successful when Susan Benoit, who was at that time North Bergen resident, responded with a poem. She left a message for Cohen that said, “Green eyes, Auburn hair, and I really do care.”
Fifteen months, later Cohen and Benoit included both of their classified ads in their wedding programs.
Their wedding was on Aug. 6, 1998.
Last month, Benoit gave Cohen a cruise to the Bahamas as an anniversary gift. Cohen said that his marriage was one of the smartest things he had ever done.
“We had 40 years of divorced life between us,” said Cohen.
He continued,” We both got married early in life. I had children right away and had the ‘great American dream,’ [but] one day you wake up and think, ‘This isn’t for me; what did I do?’ ”
Second time around
After receiving about 10 to 12 responses to his ad, Cohen went on his first date with a different woman on the Friday before Labor Day 11 years ago.
After not being very impressed with that experience, he met Benoit at the “neutral territory” of the Coach House Diner in North Bergen two days before Labor Day.
“We spent the whole day together, walked to Union City and back, and we’ve been together ever since,” said Cohen.
Benoit said that they really connected.
“And the man can still cook,” said Benoit.
Benoit sold her house in downtown North Bergen through the Reporter classifieds, and they moved in together. The couple purchased a condo in the Brunswick Towers in Jersey City through the classifieds as well. Cohen also sold his car and applied for a job a few years afterward in the Reporter’s advertising department, where he still works.
Cohen said that he was semi-retired after selling his publishing business when he saw the ad for a job at the Reporter, and he thought, “I could do that.”
“I came to work here, and it was like everything was in a circle, all revolving around the Hudson Reporter,” said Cohen.
From personal ads to online dating
These days, there are few newspapers that carry print personal ads, and most of the meeting is through on-line services like Match.com and eHarmony.com. Some people also meet through “social networking” websites like MySpace and Facebook, where they are allowed to indicate whether they are married, single, or “in a relationship.”
While users of these sites are sometimes criticized for posting misleading photos or information, Cohen said that they offer people a new way to meet.
Benoit said that she was happy with her “perfect match.”
“My husband bought me a plaque for my birthday [that read] ‘Happy Birthday, Ms. B; I married my best friend,’ ” said Benoit.