My lords and ladies, are you ready for a night of horsemanship and battle, as well as a chicken dinner? Medieval Times in Lyndhurst takes you back to a time when fights were waged on horseback, ladies had a champion, and the food was fit for king!
Step inside the castle with yonder kinsman for a night of pageantry and fun.
The castle
For those who have driven on Route 17 and wondered what that castle is doing stuck off the highway – wonder no more. The castle was designed to look like an authentic structure from the 11th century. Visitors first enter the Great Hall, which is arrayed in the colors of the champions from each royal house and all are given a crown to match their knight’s banner. Before the tournament starts, the king welcomes every one with a toast.
To get into the spirit of things, I would encourage all to order one of the mammoth sized beers to start off the night. It makes it much easier to call your server a “wench.”
After the toast, the guests are ushered into the arena for dinner and the show.
All the King’s horses…
The show opens with the King and his men returning victorious from battle. The King declares a celebration and a great tournament among the King’s men. The crowd is introduced to their champion. On the night I was there, it was a shout-fest to see which side could cheer louder. (The arena can seat up to 1,400 people when full.) After the princess arrives, the feasting begins!
Dinner consists of soup, garlic bread, and half of a roasted chicken. (Okay, not really half – but a huge chunk of meat that was well seasoned and tender.) The chicken is served with a crispy potato. Here is your chance to experience the difficulties of remaining a lord or a lady while eating with your hands! (There isn’t any silverware in the castle.) Thank goodness it’s dark!
During the meal, the beautiful Andalusian stallions make their way around the arena, performing intricate foot maneuvers and stances. Then the hawk master introduces the hawk to the captive audience. The hawk flies in fast circles over the crowd’s head before completing an attack maneuver.
My companion and I couldn’t help but wonder if the hawk ever dove for the chicken dinner. That would add an entirely different meaning to “live theater.”
After dinner, the knights all battle for the favor of the Princess, amid thunderous applause and the sound of clashing swords. According to the staff, because the show is live, even the performers don’t know who will win the jousts and sword competitions each night.
Before a knight is declared champion, take a closer look at the underappreciated pages running back and forth on the sand. Those poor guys have to retrieve a dropped shield or sword for their knight, and the crowd isn’t cheering them on!
Realize you might as well have another beer, because there is no way in hell you could run for five minutes in armor, let alone an hour!
The Royal court
After the show, visitors can meet their champion and the King in the Great Hall and are encouraged to take pictures. Guests are told to raise their glass one more time to honor thy royal court.
There were people of all ages at show. According to staff, it isn’t unusual to see families, couples, or even bachelor parties on any given night.
And if you are still thinking that the show sounds like kids’ stuff – be warned. There were plenty of grown men fake dueling in the Great Hall after the show.
Those are the same jackasses who will continue to say “my lord and my lady” long after it has stopped being funny. (Think of all the material you’ll have.) So come one, come all my lords and ladies, and experience an imaginative show that you won’t soon forget.
Medieval Times is located at 149 Polito Ave., in Lyndhurst. For more information, call: (888) we-joust or visit: www.medievaltimes.com.