This is what the college dating scene is like: Get ready with your girlfriends and go out to the bars. Get a few drinks to loosen up. Get up the courage to go talk to that cute guy and his friends. At the end of the night, either exchange numbers and probably never hear from him, or go home with him and spend the night. Sounds classy, right? Sadly, I am not exaggerating
This pattern of events occurs every weekend, starting Thursday nights, during the 10-month academic year. I watch my friends go out, even when it is freezing, half naked, in hopes to attract the hottest guy in the bar, and wind up going home with him.
Obviously, they think that if they go home with him, he will fall madly in love with her and change his weekend bar and bed hopping habits. This is not a normal dating process.
What happened to going out to dinner and a movie? What happened to talking before kissing, or holding hands before groping? When did dating go out of style?
I don’t understand; I am college sophomore and the last time I went out on a date was because I had forced the guy I was seeing to take me out. Other than that, we spent our time at his fraternity house, the bars, or in our dorm rooms. How did the concept of dating, courting, or going steady vanish? Being away at college allows students a lot of freedom. We have the freedom to be with guys without our parents having to meet him and we don’t need to worry about our parents invading our space. But, being able to go on a date is almost impossible at college without access to a car. That leaves you with several options: you can hang out in your room, his room, or wherever you go out at night. The lack of options takes away from the concept of romance. It almost encourages people to forget taking it slow and just jump into the nitty-gritty. I don’t see how you can find a real connection with someone if you don’t date or take the time to get to know each other.
The night before I went home for summer break, I hung out with the guy that I like. It was a Friday night, and I am a religious Jew, so he came to Hillel and Chabad with me for dinner, and then he accompanied me to a party for my friend’s 21st birthday.
Not once were we left alone in my room or his, nor were we intoxicated at a bar. We held hands, but that was it. We spent the evening talking, laughing, and getting to know each other. When we said goodnight, he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then went back to his house.
I cannot remember the last time I have smiled or genuinely enjoyed spending time with a guy before him. Solving this problem is easier than people realize. I think girls need to start respecting themselves more; they need to wear more clothing when they go out (more skin does not mean that you are more attractive than anyone else, it makes you look easy) and refuse to go home with guys they barely know.
But more importantly, girls must demand to be taken on dates. If they stop looking to meet their soul mate at bars (where it is common knowledge that they want one night stands, not relationships), then girls will be taken out more, and finally, all will be right in the dating world once again. – Rebecca Kaufman
Rebecca Kaufman is a Current correspondent. Comments on this piece can be sent to: current@hudsonreporter.com