One of the problems with writing a column for a weekly paper is sometimes so much can happen in a week that it’s hard to focus on what to write about.
Al Sullivan, an esteemed colleague at the Hudson Reporter, has found a way to pack a lot of meat into his editorial empanada, turning his bite size “Between the Lines” column into an entrée of information.
Considering the recent epidemic of unethical practices in the writing industry, I figured the best thing to do was just rip him off. After all, plagiarism is the ultimate homage. Perhaps I could call it something like “Tasty Tidbits,” and rip off Jim Hague while I’m at it…
Enough puff-huff
Are you serious? Do I REALLY need to devote more column space to the recent New Jersey smoking ban? Well apparently I do, since even those who claim to be in the know don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Various sources have complained to me about people (who think they understand the law) complaining about smoking outside.
What’s worse is when someone connected with a city official attempts to intimidate a restaurant employee to get what they want – i.e.: have a smoker extinguish a cigarette outside of a café, when in fact they had the idea of the law wrong to begin with. This happened recently, according to a restaurant employee I know. Restaurant workers have enough to deal with without having to deal with threats from people who try to use their power to bend the law to their own wants.
Any courtesy extended to someone who has connections is just that – a courtesy. It shouldn’t be expected. Anyone who is now offended by smokers standing outside should be courteous – to the smoker and to the staff that has to uphold the law.
The proposed “25-foot rule” was just that – a proposal. When the New Jersey indoor smoking ban was enacted on April 15, the proposal remained on the table but was not to be enforced until further review. The fate of the proposal finally became known last Tuesday, when Commissioner Fred Jacobs of the New Jersey State Department Health and Senior Services issued a memo striking down the proposal after receiving volumes of complaints, stating, “The Department has reassessed the draft guideline. The revised notice of proposal would require owners and operators to establish site-specific conditions in exterior areas of their establishments appropriate to their circumstances and environs…”
They key word in that statement “THEIR.” It’s not the state’s establishment, it’s not the customers’ establishment, it’s the owner’s establishment. And for someone to use an assumed position of authority to erroneously intimidate restaurant workers into enforcing false ordinances for their own pedantic personal satisfaction leaves a lot to be desired.
Hispanic inquisition
Across the nation last week, rumors of INS raids kept many immigrant workers from their jobs for fear of being scooped up by the Green Card Gestapo. In Hudson County, these fears were compounded by a heavy presence of law enforcement conducting drug sweeps in the Hoboken Housing Authority’s projects.
Throughout the week, as agents walked the streets in Kevlar vests, the kitchens of Hoboken’s eateries fell silent as skittish individuals simply fled and a sense of apprehension fell over the community. The economic impact of this work stoppage may be incalculable, but at a glance one could simply say it wasn’t good.
As the haze of the smoking ban slowly begins to lift, small business owners are now reeling from another hearsay haymaker.
Perhaps it might be time for local leaders to actually become proactive in informing the community rather than leaving the local knitting-circles to fret and worry about what is or is not the truth. At this point it’ll only be a matter of time before I find a small Mexican family hiding in my crawlspace, and my chief concern will be whether or not they can smoke within 25 feet of my kitchen.
Let’s stroll
Another volley was fired last week in the battle against strollers, and this time it wasn’t even me. Kudos to the anonymous “Letter to the Editor” author who vented his or her anger over discourteous damsels dragging the fruit of their wombs into crowded shops via humongous Hummer handcarts.
And good call on going anonymous, from one who received direct threats of violence after my own diatribe on the matter (“If I see you I will run you down…”).
Of course, this past weekend saw the equivalent of the Sturgis motorcycle rally for stroller pushin’ mamas – the Hoboken Arts and Music Festival.
My ankles are still raw from being rammed by self-righteous spawners slamming their kids through the crowd. I only made it three blocks through the scrum before I had to limp home, without my deep fried Oreo.
Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.