Dear Dr. Norquist:
I’m writing to you in an attempt to avert a potential problem. I notice your ads have the slogan “nurturing mind, body, and spirit.” I am very interested in what keeps a person healthy, because I grew up surrounded by people who were sick. Both of my parents died young (at 45 and at 56). My sister has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and is overweight, and I’m afraid may die young, as my parents did. I’d like to keep healthy, and learn how to help my sister with her health. It’s always made sense to me that our emotions are a factor in good health. I’m not sure how the “spirit” fits in. Could you explain more about the role of “mind, body, and spirit” in keeping healthy?
Dr. Norquist responds:
It has been said that the body is a temple for the spirit. In this sense, taking good care of our bodies is a spiritual responsibility. Our bodies and our senses can be instruments for expressing and manifesting our highest nature. The destiny of our physical body is influenced by the choices we make, and the habits we create through our daily thoughts, feelings, and lifestyle. One way to view it is that our bodies express the attitudes that we have practiced day after day. Constructive emotions, such as kindness, understanding, love, forgiveness, patience, gentleness, and compassion help to create a body that functions better. Our bodies are built or destroyed through unconscious attitudes and emotions we have adopted. Through our interpersonal relationships we continuously choose to either act in alignment with God’s nature (love and kindness), or to act from emotions that distance us from God (anger, fear, jealousy, or envy).
A simple way to conceptualize it is: Spirit is the power (accessed through the will, the power of actively choosing), the Mind is the creator (the focusing agent for the spiritual energy) and the Body expresses results of what we have created with the mind and spirit. Viewed from this perspective, illnesses we experience are tailor-made for us and are a consequence of the ways we have habitually thought, felt, and reacted. We always experience what we have created. Both health and illness can be viewed as spiritual events. Illness can awaken us to the necessity to realign ourselves with spirit, while health is the result of spiritual alignment.
Of course, this is based upon my understanding of some of the spiritual aspects of health. I’d encourage you to do some investigating of your own, in alignment with your own spiritual path and beliefs. Seek to discover your own understanding of the mind/body/spirit aspects of health!
Dear Dr. Norquist:
My mother died last year. I am 25 and I had gotten married just before she died. I still miss her a lot. I don’t tell anyone how much I am hurting because everyone is going on with their own lives as if it was not a big deal. It is a very big deal to me. I have recently started having crazy dreams that rob me of my sleep, and I think they have something to do with mom’s death. Is there something I can do to stop the dreams and possibly be a little happier instead of so grumpy all the time?
Dr. Norquist responds:
Your grumpiness and your crazy dreams are signs that you need to stop and be aware of your inner feelings. By ignoring your feelings of loss, you have stopped up the healing process. You may also feel lonely, and disconnected from others. It’s hard to be genuine and feel close with others when you are not acknowledging your own inner experiences. You do not need others to feel the same as you for your feelings to be valid. For your own health and well being, you need to share your sadness, loss, anger, (and whatever else you feel) with trusted others. Many benefit from short-term therapy after a major loss, to help them in processing these feelings. Your wound can’t heal without first being acknowledged and attended to. You can’t truly let go of these feelings until you acknowledge them, honor them, and express them. Then you can move on, with your love in your heart as your connection to your mother, and your acknowledgment that you can be happy without her physical presence in your life. I suspect she would want it this way. Perhaps then you can move into the joy and excitement of your new marriage.
Dr. Sallie Norquist is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice and is director of Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management Center, a center for upliftment and enlivenment, in Hoboken. Dr. Norquist and the staff of Chaitanya invite you to write them at Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management Center, 51 Newark St., Suite 202, Hoboken, NJ 07030 or www.chaitanya.com or by e-mail at drnorquist@chaitanya.com, or by fax at (201) 656-4700. Questions can address various topics, including relationships, life’s stresses, difficulties, mysteries and dilemmas, as well as questions related to managing stress or alternative ways of understanding and treating physical symptoms and health-related concerns. Practitioners of the following techniques are available to answer your questions: psychology, acupuncture, therapeutic and neuromuscular massage, yoga, meditation, spiritual & transpersonal psychology, Reiki, CranioSacral Therapy, and Alexander Technique 2004 Chaitanya Counseling and Stress Management Center