Hop on any New Jersey Transit bus and you’ll read the following warning:”The operator of this vehicle is protected by New Jersey State Law 2C:12-1(b)5g Amended Aggravated Assault Law. Aggravated Assault of a bus operator carries a prison term up to 5 years and fines up to $7,500.”
If you ride the bus enough, you’ll wonder how many bus drivers got smacked around by frustrated or infuriated customers before they thought it was a good idea to post this warning.
Now that I live in the Jersey City Heights, I’m often forced to rely on the bus “system” to get around. And for a cantankerous, impatient curmudgeon like me, it’s not an easy thing to rely upon.
My primary complaint is the bus schedule, or lack thereof. I understand traffic is an issue that could certainly cause delays in bus service, but I’m talking about buses that never show up at all. Another favorite of mine is the bus that shows up so late it has the next scheduled bus right behind it. There’s nothing like standing at a bus stop for half an hour waiting for one bus, then suddenly you have two appear as if it’s the punch line to a cruel joke.
My suggestion is to no longer print schedules. That way I won’t be disappointed when the bus never comes, because I didn’t know when to expect it anyhow. In some warped reality it makes sense to me, and perhaps they could use the money they save on printing costs to hire better, more dependable drivers.
As is the case in most of my rants, I’m not pointing my finger at all of them, but I will say that I’ve had more than one bus driver who has made me come close to violating New Jersey State Law 2C:12-1(b)5g. (Nor am I saying it’s all right to act out against bus drivers – it’s not. To quote Chris Rock when he joked about the possibility that O.J. killed his wife, “I’m not saying it’s right, but I can understand.”).
I had this one guy who would always make a point of rolling well past me before coming to a stop. Gradually, I would move down towards the corner more and more in an effort to gauge the location of his stop, but he’d always overshoot me – even if it meant going into the intersection. It was some twisted little power play and apparently the guy just got off on frustrating people, as I noticed he did it at every stop. Then one day when I was so far down he couldn’t possibly blow past me, he stopped at the actual stop about 50 feet away from where I had positioned myself and tried to take off without me. I flagged down the bus and when I got on he had the cojones to tell me I should wait at the stop. I was about to launch into a tirade when I spotted New Jersey State Law 2C:12-1(b)5g right above his seat.
Then there was the guy who drove down to Hoboken from the Heights while simultaneously screaming obscenities into his cell phone and arguing with his girlfriend who was sitting next to him on the bus. There must have been 40 people on that bus, all of us clinging to our seats for dear life as he flew down the cliff and around corners in reckless fits of rage. As I got off the bus I asked the guy if he knew he was responsible for the lives of everyone on the bus he was driving. As expected, he told me to go $*@# myself. Now there was a guy who knew all about New Jersey State Law 2C:12-1(b)5g, and wasn’t afraid to hide behind it.
I’ve pretty much given up on NJT and started taking those crazy little jitney buses that ferry people to Journal Square and Newport. I can catch the PATH from either location, and there are tons of them out there, so I’m never waiting long. Plus I already know that these guys drive like lunatics, so it’s no surprise when you get thrown around in your seat while the eager driver races to the next stop. I used to have a moral objection to patronizing the jitneys because of their erratic driving (drivers are paid by the fare and, therefore, try to outrace each other in an effort to pick up more riders). But after getting the shaft so often from NJT, I began to question which was worse – and now I find the jitneys to be the better deal. Once you learn that “la proxima, por favor” means “next stop, please,” you should have no problem riding the jitney bus. And after awhile you’ll develop an appreciation for blaringly loud Latin music. But more importantly, you won’t have to worry about New Jersey State Law 2C:12-1(b)5g.
Chris Halleron lives in Jersey City and tends bar at Duffy’s in Hoboken. His column appears every other week in the Current. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com.