Helene Stapinski doesn’t mind being the patron saint of Jersey City expatriates.
The distinction, of course, is a relatively new one. When her experiences growing up in the city’s crime-ridden Downtown section were immortalized in her 2001 memoir "Five Finger Discount," Stapinski was thrust into a regional spotlight, serving as a poster child for a new breed of city native who dreamed of a life more expansive than remaining locked within the city’s historically depressing limits.
Her visibility even connected her with other Jersey City expatriates young and old, and Stapinski continues to exchange e-mails with "runaways" as close as Florida to as far away as Hong Kong. People she meets take every opportunity to relate their own Jersey City stories, Stapinski said, and she wrote them down before they got too numerous to handle.
But last week, she functioned as a guide for those who are moving in. At a small cocktail party for future condominium owners at the under-construction Majestic Theatre residential complex on Grove Street, Stapinski was on hand to tell buyers the stories of the streets, buildings and personalities that have shaped the neighborhood into what it is today.
"This neighborhood is lousy with ghosts," Stapinski said Thursday night on the reconstructed steps of the Theatre’s old lobby. "They’re beneath the floorboards and in the construction dust. I’m here to offer a few more fragments."
Majestic buyers as well as longtime city residents listened as Stapinski read tales from her book. Some were about her Uncle Frankie’s swindles on the steps of City Hall, and others about her great-uncle Leonard’s time as a barber a few doors down from the theater.
Stapinski’s comments seemed to have enlarged condo owners’ perspective on their future home, and some said the neighborhood’s unique character was a factor in their decision to buy at the Majestic.
"I’m a big believer in Jersey City," said David Germond, 28, a Bergen County native and current Dixon Mills resident who works for Prudential in Parsippany. "I can’t wait to read the book and put a face to the name. I love the in-depth stories and the culture you get from them. It’s just fascinating."
A pain in the…
When Stapinski, 38, left Jersey City in 1992 for a job in Alaska, the city was tremendously different from what it is now. Abandoned buildings and empty lots have been transformed into luxury housing developments or commercial properties, and new residents seem to arriving in droves.
Now a resident of Brooklyn’s Red Hook section, where she lives with her husband and two children, Stapinski still comes to Jersey City on occasion to see her relatives. Her sister works as an administrator in the Jersey City Public School system. She often drops her son Dean off with her mother Irene, who lives at St. John’s Apartments near Journal Square.
She also frequents her Downtown neighborhood and counts Grove Street’s Marco & Pepe as one of her favorite restaurants. It was there, she said, that she worked on her new book, sitting at a table for four hours at a time drinking coffee and writing notes.
In a sense, Stapinski never left Jersey City. Although she has physically left, her hometown remains persistently in her mind.
"Everyone I meet is either from Jersey City or has a relative who passed through Jersey City at one point in their lives," Stapinski said while reading the newspaper and drinking an espresso at Ground, a café on Jersey Avenue. "It’s just amazing. It’s like Jersey City is a cradle of civilization."
Added Stapinski, "I miss Jersey City in a lot of ways. It’s a love-hate relationship."
Her decision to leave was prompted by exasperation at being so embroiled in the city’s less-than-flattering aspects, she said, both through her "crooked" family history and as her time working as a reporter for both the Hudson Reporter chain and the Jersey Journal.
"I gave up, I ran away," she said. "Working at the Jersey Journal, there’s just so much to deal with. You can’t handle it after a while. You burn out."
Naturally, her journey in getting away from Jersey City has brought her back home, and she will continue to give talks about her experiences growing up as the city’s most notorious enfant terrible.
This week, at the request of the Rev. Alexander Santora, Stapinski will speak at her old grammar school, Paulus Hook’s OLC School. Her talk at OLC revolves around the concept of community and how one can work to create it.
"I’m going to tell them to be a pain in the ass like me," Stapinski said. "That’s how you create community."
TV show coming
Working as a full-time author and freelance writer for publications like the New York Times, where her husband is an editor, Stapinski will soon be celebrating the release of her second book. She is also considering traveling to the remote village of Bernalde, her family’s ancestral home near Matera, Italy, to do research for a prequel to "Five Finger Discount."
NBC is also currently developing a television show based on "Five Finger Discount," and Stapinski will be retained as a consultant on the project.
In her most recent drives around Jersey City, Stapinski has seen first-hand the dramatic changes that have been taking place and shape in areas from Downtown the Journal Square.
A particularly surprising instance was the removal of Journal Square’s State Theatre, which is currently a construction site for a moderate-income housing development. Other changes, while a tad bit less conspicuous, have the same gripping power.
Tippy’s Charcoal Haven, located in the Heights on Kennedy Boulevard near Hutton Street, was a favorite burger joint of Stapinski’s. It has since turned into a small grocery store.
"Every time I come back, something else is gone," she said. "The Jersey City I know is just disappearing. I’m just worried that Jersey City flavor will be lost."
But she is excited for the future. When Stapinski thinks about the arts and cultural community that is emerging Downtown, her attitude shifts. "I get mad when I come back to Jersey City now," she said, "because I think ‘Goddammit, why couldn’t this be here when I was here?’ " q