Many of the six-week parenting classes offered by the local Youth Consultation Service agency begin the same way – with a group of people angry that they are made to attend a class they don’t think they need.
Said Supervisor of Parenting Classes Francisco Monterrosa, “A lot of them come in saying, ‘The only reason I’m here is because my DYFS worker doesn’t like me,’ but once the classes get going, they realize that they needed the class.”
There are tomes on the market on everything from feeding a new baby to talking to kids about the dangers of drugs. But many new parents, who themselves may still be children nursing drug and alcohol habits, need more “proactive” attention and guidance.
In an attempt to help guide these “at-risk” people through the dangerous waters of parenting in an urban area, the non-profit Youth Consultation Service (YCS) was created. Moving into its 25th year, YCS, based in Union City, has been as of late holding “parenting skills” classes. According to Monterrosa, the classes are making a difference.
Said Monterrosa, “The program works. The vast majority of people that come through here never have to come back.”
Many of the people who come through YCS’s doors are doing so on a mandatory basis, having been referred by the Department of Youth and Family Services for various offenses.
As an echo of a mixed society such as exists in Hudson County, there is no “typical” YCS client. Said Monterrosa, “We get a mix of people, teen parents to foster parents. We also get a lot of schoolteachers, daycare providers and social service agencies that want to get an even better grip on child care.”
Monterrosa started the classes six years ago. They are held twice a week for a six-week period. Classes in Spanish are held on Mondays, and classes in English are held on Thursdays.
According to Assistant Supervisor of Parenting Classes Jorge Montanez, the classes draw big attendance, especially in Hudson County.
“I’d say we have 40 to 50 people per class here at the Union City location,” he said. Other YCS locations exist in Bergen, Essex and Passaic counties.
Word of YCS’s services and the success they bring to young struggling parents has extended beyond the borders of this area. Said Montanez, “People from New York City and state and Connecticut come here as well.”
The program is run with federal and state funds, and by charging some insurance companies.
Step by step
To hear Monterrosa tell it, the program works for a very simple reason – it’s very hands-on. Said Monterrosa, “We focus on teaching [parenting techniques] step-by-step. It’s very structured. Seventy to 80 percent of the parents that come here are referred to us by DYFS, and they tell us that this is one of the best programs.”
According to Monterrosa, there are seven main areas that are touched upon during the classes: Parenting approaches, encouraging self-esteem, understanding children’s behavior, winning cooperation, setting limits, mutual respect and most importantly, communication, which Monterrosa mentioned as the most important facet.
Said Monterrosa, “We talk openly about their problems. It’s really more of a support group than a class.”
According to Monterrosa and Montanez, there are problems of child abuse. Many people in the Hudson County area come from other countries where corporal punishment isn’t frowned upon and is encouraged.
Said Montanez, “We spend a lot of time explaining to the people that come here that this is not their country.
What was acceptable in their country is not here. We’ve had a lot of people ask, ‘What’s wrong with hitting my child?’ The population here in Hudson County is so diverse that this is a big problem.”
Another major problem that faces YCS is the epidemic of kids having kids. Said Monterrosa, “That’s a big problem. Being a teen with a child is not a good combination. If the child is lucky enough to have both parents, and they both work or go to school, they are not around the child. We stress that they have to be. Otherwise, it’ll be chaos.”
YCS is attempting to act as a proactive force in the communities it serves. Instead of reacting to a horrific incident that has already occurred, YCS attempts to step in before something serious happens.
Said Monterrosa, “This is really about prevention. The funny thing is that with DYFS, they’ll place a child [in a foster home], then two years goes by and the child is ready to go back, but the parents are still practicing the same behaviors. We are trying to change that.”
When Monterrosa began the classes six years ago, it was for a simple reason – “I saw a need. I saw the parents being left out of the services and I saw the response in the community when I first proposed the idea.”
Monterrosa and his staff are so committed to the classes that even recent loss of funding isn’t keeping them from their aim of educating parents that need their services.
Said Monterrosa, “We are thinking of doing the classes for free if YCS runs out of funding for the program. It’s that important to us and to the community. The classes work. We see the change. We can’t let this go.”
Recently, YCS’s “Faith-based” government funding ran out and the other state and federal grants are barely enough to keep the program afloat. At some point, hours will have to be cut, and then services. Though Monterrosa and Montanez plan to run the program for free if need be, they’d rather not have it come to that.
Said Monterrosa, “Again, we’re really desperate for funding.”
For donation information, call the YCS Foundation at (201) 678-1312 and ask for Eillene Leistner. If interested in the classes, call (201) 217-4801 and ask for Francisco Monterrosa.