Dear Editor:
I am a child and grandchild of firefighters, and I know something of the pride and respect their courageous work makes for in others. My heart goes out to the thousands of families and friends of all the persons who died on September 11th – private citizens and uniformed workers – so many of whom lived in Hudson County. I want very much for them to know that the philosophy Aesthetic Realism can be of practical use to them. Founded in 1941 by the American educator Eli Siegel, Aesthetic Realism can have people make sense of the most urgent questions and biggest emotions in their lives.
In over 20 years of study, I have seen this beginning principle of Aesthetic Realism as true: “Every person’s deepest desire is to like the world on an honest or accurate basis.” Learning what it means to like the world honestly is vital at any time, and very much so when someone dear to us has died.
The most important document I know on this subject is an article by Anne Fielding, Aesthetic Realism consultant and actress. It is about widowhood, but every person needs the knowledge in it. Ms. Fielding writes:
“When my husband, Sheldon Kranz, died, even as I had enormous sorrow, I had the inestimable good fortune to be studying Aesthetic Realism and learning how to use even this to like the world, care people more truly, value objects more deeply.”
When something tragic occurs, people need to know that the world itself has a kind, beautiful structure that makes sense: the aesthetic oneness of opposites. That is what a woman studying in consultations was learning, whom Ms. Fielding calls Geraldine Hale. Her consultants encourage her to use her late husband to care more for other people, and for the world itself, as they asked:
“If your husband had goodness in him, didn’t that goodness come from reality, which made him, and is it still in the world? If he had strength and gentleness, can you find these same opposites in ever so many places?”
This is the knowledge so needed by people now, including in the many support groups that have been formed. I can only imagine how difficult this year has been for so many people. Meanwhile, I am sure that they need to know what Aesthetic Realism shows is the greater weakener of our lives. It is contempt: “the lessening of what is different from oneself as a means of self-increase as one sees it.” Contempt is ordinary, such not listening when someone is talking to us. And at a time of great loss, the world can seem like one’s enemy, and the desire for contempt can be more intense. Ms. Fielding describes how it can-
“…take the form of a widow’s not wanting to get out of bed, talk to people, or eat.”
Had I not been studying Aesthetic Realism when my sister, whom I felt very close to, died suddenly in 1985 I would have been utterly devastated, and would have felt the world was a cruel, hateful place. But because of what I learned in Aesthetic Realism consultations, I was able to use this tragedy to be a kinder person – which I know she would want. I feel it crucial for people to hear this question asked by Eli Siegel:
“Is this true: no matter how much of a case one has against the world – its unkindness, its disorder, its ugliness, its meaninglessness – one has to do all one can to like it, or one will weaken oneself?”
For more information, contact the not-for-profit Aesthetic Realism Foundation at 141 Greene St., NY, NY, 10012, 212-777-4490, www.AestheticRealism.org.
Marion Fennell